What nonsense ! The haggis has definitely got one pair of legs shorter than the other. The left pair is longer than the right pair. This is so it can graze easily on hillsides, the shorter pair on the higher side of the slope, so the animal is level. That's why you need a mirror and two people to catch one viz. one hides in the heather with the mirror; the other chases the haggis around the hill. When the running haggis approaches the hidden hunter he or she jumps out and confronts the haggis with the mirror. The animal sees , in the mirror, what looks to be another animal charging at it so it turns round to flee. Then of course it's longer legs are suddenly on the higher side so it topples over, rolls down the slope helpless and is easily seized. Incidentally haggis is from the scientific, Latin name ( Haggis Scoticus Scoticus). The plural is, therefore haggites. Haggi for example would be correct only if it were haggus in the singular.

and what of the noble Neep, hunted across the hills like an animal?

Fred is right-on with his description, however, there is no mention of the sub species (Haggis scoticus versocus), which has its right legs longer then the left. This variant has evolved to utililise a vacant ecological niche - the other side of the hill.
The capture procedure is initially the same as with the nominate species, but the mirror should be held upside down, causing the haggis to try and turn its head upside down, and thus toppling over.

Wildwood solves a problem.Evidently the second kind does not interbreed with the first thereby perhaps leading to some mutants with four legs equal. How could it? At some point the pair would be trying to face the same way and the mating thwarted by the ensuing tumble of one or other of them.Even dogs, which do face the opposite way at a key point do not start the performance that way. I note that the s.sp. "Wildwood's haggis" is more intelligent. At least it stops to work out the puzzle and /or greet the, to it, mutant. The original, just panics without thinking.

Haggis hunters everywhere will be delighted with the new legislation that means that the haggis are no longer allowed to use their mobiles tocall each other and warn of iminent danger, which must shorten the odds to an acceptable degree after years of unhappy haggisesque advantage. As hunters know, the haggis is too dense to operate a hands-free and must therefore run the risk of penalty points, lke the rest of us.

Could have sworn I saw one of the little critturs running like blazes across the hospital grounds this afternoon, I think it was possibly heading for Casualty, perhaps someone didn't shoot straight.

Haggis hunting should be banned Like all hunting with hounds, haggis hunting is designed to be cruel. Hounds are bred for stamina, providing the 'sport' of a lengthy chase. The haggis is forced to run as far and as fast as it can until exhausted, when the hounds will catch and kill it. Hunters claim that the haggis is killed instantly, but evidence has shown again and again that the haggis is just as likely to be torn apart alive. Hunts can kill 20,000 haggis and their neeps (cubs) annually. Although hunting deer with hounds has been illegal in Scotland for over 30 years, haggis hunting continues. give target=_blank>http://www.lawian.supanet.com/">give us your support

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