Body & Soul1 min ago
Don't you just hate being jealous....!?
53 Answers
I'm so jealous it frustrates me!
You know that feeling when you know it's pathetic but you can't help it. And u get that horrible stressed feeling in your chest...?
Anyway - Scenario: Basically, i'll cut a long story short (as poss). A conversation we were having in bed last night turned to this girl that my boyfriend has mentioned on more than one occassion (that he works with) - not in detail but enough to notice. So i was like "Do u fancy her?" and he said he "did, used to.." and then went on to tell me that he "doesnt know any bloke in the office that hasn't liked her...", so i was like great.....
Then i couldnt sleep all night!! Coz of that stupid stressed/jealous feeling!!!
(the conversation got to her because my boyfriend wanted to use my debit card to buy Liverpool FC tickets at work and said if they need to speak to the card holder (me) could this other chick pretend to be me.)
By the way i'm not jealous to the extent that i get peed off if he buys mens mags (FHM type), or says whether he fanices celebs etc - just the thought of him trying it on with another woman and when he mentions his ex - thats when i get jealous!
yes... i know its pathetic but i can't help it - anyone else similar??
You know that feeling when you know it's pathetic but you can't help it. And u get that horrible stressed feeling in your chest...?
Anyway - Scenario: Basically, i'll cut a long story short (as poss). A conversation we were having in bed last night turned to this girl that my boyfriend has mentioned on more than one occassion (that he works with) - not in detail but enough to notice. So i was like "Do u fancy her?" and he said he "did, used to.." and then went on to tell me that he "doesnt know any bloke in the office that hasn't liked her...", so i was like great.....
Then i couldnt sleep all night!! Coz of that stupid stressed/jealous feeling!!!
(the conversation got to her because my boyfriend wanted to use my debit card to buy Liverpool FC tickets at work and said if they need to speak to the card holder (me) could this other chick pretend to be me.)
By the way i'm not jealous to the extent that i get peed off if he buys mens mags (FHM type), or says whether he fanices celebs etc - just the thought of him trying it on with another woman and when he mentions his ex - thats when i get jealous!
yes... i know its pathetic but i can't help it - anyone else similar??
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Oh god yeah! I'm terrible!
My fella told me last night he is going to Liverpool at the weekend with his best friend (who is single) and two "people" i've never met who are work friends of his friend! and he is staying over with these freinds (i dont know male or female) and its driving me mad!
I'm going to try forget about it but i'm not sure i can!
I get so jealous!
My fella told me last night he is going to Liverpool at the weekend with his best friend (who is single) and two "people" i've never met who are work friends of his friend! and he is staying over with these freinds (i dont know male or female) and its driving me mad!
I'm going to try forget about it but i'm not sure i can!
I get so jealous!
What I've found here is that jealousy depends on how sure you are of your boyfriend's feelings for you. When I was married I knew my husband loved me and would never stray, it never entered my head to be jealous. Now, with my boyfriend, I am the same as you, jealous of the women at work that he says are pretty etc, I know what women at work can be like, with flirting etc.
I think the more in love with someone you are, the worse it is, and as I say, especially if you feel they love you less than you do them. It stems from insecurity. The answer is to take a deep breath, walk away, think logically about it for a while and put yourself in their shoes, i.e. if a guy at work had banter with you, you wouldnt think any less of your boyfriend. The difficulty is though knowing whether your jealousy is unfounded or whether there is anything happening with this girl at work - you have to trust your guy to be honest with you.
I think the more in love with someone you are, the worse it is, and as I say, especially if you feel they love you less than you do them. It stems from insecurity. The answer is to take a deep breath, walk away, think logically about it for a while and put yourself in their shoes, i.e. if a guy at work had banter with you, you wouldnt think any less of your boyfriend. The difficulty is though knowing whether your jealousy is unfounded or whether there is anything happening with this girl at work - you have to trust your guy to be honest with you.
hey nat,
I used to be fairly similar when my boyfriend started uni he used to come home going on about all these girls he had met on hs course, then he added them to msn and then they would text each other (always about pointless uni work) then came the student boozy nights out.
I was always asking my boyfriend what they looked like what they talked about, did they flirt with him and he got annoyed as they were just girls on his course. It got to the point where he was getting really fed up with me and called me jealous, didn't trust him blah blah.
anyway I asked my boyfriend if next time they all went out if I could go along and meet his new friends he said of course and when I went I felt so stupid it was so innocent. I guess it was because these girls were getting close to my boyfriend and I wasn't involved and I didn't like it.
Maybe you should go along on his next works do and meet her, it may help you see how innocent it is if he fancied her in the past and nothing ever happend I wouldn't worry about it, he is with you now.
clare
I used to be fairly similar when my boyfriend started uni he used to come home going on about all these girls he had met on hs course, then he added them to msn and then they would text each other (always about pointless uni work) then came the student boozy nights out.
I was always asking my boyfriend what they looked like what they talked about, did they flirt with him and he got annoyed as they were just girls on his course. It got to the point where he was getting really fed up with me and called me jealous, didn't trust him blah blah.
anyway I asked my boyfriend if next time they all went out if I could go along and meet his new friends he said of course and when I went I felt so stupid it was so innocent. I guess it was because these girls were getting close to my boyfriend and I wasn't involved and I didn't like it.
Maybe you should go along on his next works do and meet her, it may help you see how innocent it is if he fancied her in the past and nothing ever happend I wouldn't worry about it, he is with you now.
clare
I understand exactly where you are coming from.
My husband used to keep bringing home curries that a malaysian woman at work kept making him. It turned out her husband was in the army and was away and she kept on making these flippin curries every few days and he kept bringing them home for tea. Then he showed me a picture of her on his mobile saying "isnt she pretty?" I found it really jealous making. He would probably have been amazed if he knew just how much I fretted about it.
And also understand about the ex thing. One of his ex'es is so beautiful she could have been a model. Slim, long blond hair, young... So I know what you mean about that horrid feeling. I struggle with this a lot because I think of myself as fairly intelligent and never felt like this before.
I even got so jealous of a woman by the pool on holiday because he admired her lovely long red hair. She was slimmer and younger than me and I got myself so screwed up about it I felt I hated the poor woman.
I actually think its all to do with being secure in one's self - which I'm obviously not. :-(
My husband used to keep bringing home curries that a malaysian woman at work kept making him. It turned out her husband was in the army and was away and she kept on making these flippin curries every few days and he kept bringing them home for tea. Then he showed me a picture of her on his mobile saying "isnt she pretty?" I found it really jealous making. He would probably have been amazed if he knew just how much I fretted about it.
And also understand about the ex thing. One of his ex'es is so beautiful she could have been a model. Slim, long blond hair, young... So I know what you mean about that horrid feeling. I struggle with this a lot because I think of myself as fairly intelligent and never felt like this before.
I even got so jealous of a woman by the pool on holiday because he admired her lovely long red hair. She was slimmer and younger than me and I got myself so screwed up about it I felt I hated the poor woman.
I actually think its all to do with being secure in one's self - which I'm obviously not. :-(
Yeah i think ur all right.
But sometimes it a feeling u can't control or get rid of - especially when ur lying in bed - not like there's anything to take ur mind away from it....
I'm pretty sure nothing happened previously but didnt manage to get that question in...i'm sure i will in the near future!
He knows im a jealous cow and i do think i'm really insecure - but most people think i'm really confident (when im the total opposite)!
But sometimes it a feeling u can't control or get rid of - especially when ur lying in bed - not like there's anything to take ur mind away from it....
I'm pretty sure nothing happened previously but didnt manage to get that question in...i'm sure i will in the near future!
He knows im a jealous cow and i do think i'm really insecure - but most people think i'm really confident (when im the total opposite)!
Little bit of advice....
I stressed over my guy and girls at his work for years as he worked with some very pretty girls but he always told me he wasn't interested in them and all his friends and even some of the girls would tell me how much he loved me and how we were meant for eachother.... then... 5 yrs into our relationship he moved jobs and left me for some girl at his new work! The point to my story?? If he is going to cheat, he is going to cheat... and no amount of worrying, stressing, being jealous or keeping tabs on him will stop that! Just enjoy the relationship and instead of showing him how jealous and bitter you can get... show him how great you are and what a fool he would be to run off with someone else!
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If a man doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay!
Ruby xx
I stressed over my guy and girls at his work for years as he worked with some very pretty girls but he always told me he wasn't interested in them and all his friends and even some of the girls would tell me how much he loved me and how we were meant for eachother.... then... 5 yrs into our relationship he moved jobs and left me for some girl at his new work! The point to my story?? If he is going to cheat, he is going to cheat... and no amount of worrying, stressing, being jealous or keeping tabs on him will stop that! Just enjoy the relationship and instead of showing him how jealous and bitter you can get... show him how great you are and what a fool he would be to run off with someone else!
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If a man doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay!
Ruby xx
I like it ruby - very honest and straight to the point.
I totally agree with u.
But my point is, i know its stupid for me to get jealous - but that feeling is beyond my control. I think its just something thats either in you or it isn't.
This woman at his work has kids and everything - and a boyfriend.
I totally agree with u.
But my point is, i know its stupid for me to get jealous - but that feeling is beyond my control. I think its just something thats either in you or it isn't.
This woman at his work has kids and everything - and a boyfriend.
Oh and.... the girl he left me for was a total munter so I have to believe that it was all to do with her personality and they must have clicked in a way that he never did with any of the pretty girls! I am yet to see her personality though as she hardly speaks and is scared sh!tless of me! Ohwell ;o)
Trust me I know EXACTLY how you feel and I did it for years... fretting and panicking over girls I hadn't met but he had talked about and said were funny and what-have-you... but at the end of the day... he never left me for any of them and the one girl he left me for.. he had fancied for 3-4 months and never even mentioned her name so I didn't even know she existed! Men aren't as stupid as we think... he kept her well hidden because he knew she was a potential threat to me! I found out about her 1 week after we split and that was only because I saw a text from her and questioned it! I didn't even know any girls his age worked with him!
Don't waste the relationship worrying about something that may never happen... and if it does happen... you can't do anything to prevent it.. the only thing you can do is to make sure you have a good relationship together.. but thats something that starts now.. not something you promise when he ends it!
Don't waste the relationship worrying about something that may never happen... and if it does happen... you can't do anything to prevent it.. the only thing you can do is to make sure you have a good relationship together.. but thats something that starts now.. not something you promise when he ends it!
nice advice ruby - sorry to hear about ur man too.
Everything in life's a lesson- well thats how i see it. I dont believe in regretting things either.
At the end of the day if a partner cheats on thier other half then you're better off without them.
I cheated on my boyfriend when i was 16 - and i reckon he was definitely better off without me :0)
Everything in life's a lesson- well thats how i see it. I dont believe in regretting things either.
At the end of the day if a partner cheats on thier other half then you're better off without them.
I cheated on my boyfriend when i was 16 - and i reckon he was definitely better off without me :0)
If I was you......
Instead of asking if anything has happened between him and her I'd drop him a saucy message.... or tell him how much he means to you! Think he'd prefer a saucy one.... but either will be better than sending one questioning him... he will know why you are asking and lets be honest...... will either answer make you feel better? If he says they used to date then you will be worried but if he says they never used to date then you will be worried because its something they haven't tried! And you will worry more but be in no better situation than you are now.... save your own nerves and send him a nice message!
Instead of asking if anything has happened between him and her I'd drop him a saucy message.... or tell him how much he means to you! Think he'd prefer a saucy one.... but either will be better than sending one questioning him... he will know why you are asking and lets be honest...... will either answer make you feel better? If he says they used to date then you will be worried but if he says they never used to date then you will be worried because its something they haven't tried! And you will worry more but be in no better situation than you are now.... save your own nerves and send him a nice message!
Plus..........
You have no idea what time of woman she is and if he says to her (in a totally innocent but stupid way) "I think my girlfriend is worried there is something going on between us"... she might love that because she knows you see her as a threat and it might cause her to flirt more and stuff!
You have no idea what time of woman she is and if he says to her (in a totally innocent but stupid way) "I think my girlfriend is worried there is something going on between us"... she might love that because she knows you see her as a threat and it might cause her to flirt more and stuff!
hmm.....
im not really a "saucy" kinda girl...
i am a "nice" girl....just not a "saucy" one....can't bring myself to say anything "saucy"
Cant think of anything different to say..... i always tell him "i love u loads blah blah blah.... " so it wouldnt really be anything unusual.
On the other hand, if i had a few drinks down me, then it would be a different story - although i dont think work would approve of me being sat here drinking Vodka...
im not really a "saucy" kinda girl...
i am a "nice" girl....just not a "saucy" one....can't bring myself to say anything "saucy"
Cant think of anything different to say..... i always tell him "i love u loads blah blah blah.... " so it wouldnt really be anything unusual.
On the other hand, if i had a few drinks down me, then it would be a different story - although i dont think work would approve of me being sat here drinking Vodka...
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