Questions on Expressing Anger

[FEELINLOST]

Are you the cause of how your partner reacts when he gets angry, aggressive, intimidating etc?

If you constantly do irritating things for a long time i.e.
8-10 years & your partner keeps reminding you of it, but you state its unintentional, does your partner have the right to express his anger in a hurtful physical or emotional way?

[sara3]

no one has the right to physically hurt you, or mentally torture you.

but you may have your own issues to deal with too...

why are you together?

[FEELINLOST]

Thanks for your reply sara3. We are still together because I guess we want things to work......but there always seems to be incidents where he feels I'm disrespecting him, being unloyal & humilating him. But I do these things without knowing...& when I try to explain this, he say's I always want to justify myself & not accept what I'm doing is hurting him!

[sara3]

maybe you need some counselling to see things from an observers point of view. I wish you luck but in my opinion, once there is physical violence, the relationship is in serious trouble.

best of luck x

[Velvetee]

I'm sorry to again hear of our unhappy situation Feelinlost and forgive me if I seem insensitive, but you have been posting the same scenarios on here for some time now.

You perhaps cannot see you are in an abusive relationship, where your partner continues to manipulate and control you and blame you for allthe things bad in the relationship. You constantly make excuses for him and it seems you actually believe it is you who is in the wrong.

Perhaps posting on this site helps you deal with your dire situation and I'm sure we will all repeat ourseleves over and over again. Many women tend only to leave abusive relationships, when their abuser either moves on or kills them.

This person you are with sounds like a bully. You do not physically hurt someone you profess to love. Only you can make the change by getting out of this relationship, regaining your self respect and self esteem. Somehow though, I don't think that will ever happen.

[tamborine]

This is the best way to correct this relationship:

1.You do irritating things:start vacuuming when he's watching the tv
2: You disrespect him: throw tins of food at his head, with tin opener
3: Finish him off with a Bobbit!

[clogs2]

don't be manipulated.an argument isn`t going to solve anything you both need to find a solution to this problem and it seems to be getting out of control i can argue with the best of them but in this case i would keep "quiet"(not),because there isn`t anything to shout about .talking will solve all your problems.but dont let him turn the tables on you.as he may be anxious but you really need to talk.its no good dropping hints that wont get you anywhere. bottling things up will only make you fester.talk in private".when" you feel confident enough.

[redcrx]

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question722391.html

Please can one of you find the strength to WALK AWAY from this unhealthy relationship.

seek help from friends or family, explain to them the situation you have got stuck in for the last 2 years (2 years youve been posting anyway) and get away.

what will a wedding in september solve? NOTHING you will still be in exactly the same situation, with a man who abuses you.

no, im not sure if you post here for advice and help or just to get attention that you may be lacking at home, but try and resolve the issue.

[Velvetee]

I completely agree Redcrx. This lady has been posting the same old scenario for ages, but does not seem to want to rectify the situation or is too scared to.

Surely it is better to be alone and unhappy that be in a violent abusive relationship, because ou are afraid of being alone.

I believe this is one of the reasons abusive men continue to behave like this, they know they will always be able to find a downtrodden woman, who will allow and tolerate this behaviour.

If you continue to post these problems over and over, you will just lose sympathy. Please do something about it and get yourself together.

[ummmm]

Stay with him....you obviously enjoy it.

Just don't have babies....!!!!