Breach Of Copyright?
If so I hope the Spectator will forgive me and see this as a useful plug.
This is a winning entry in a competition to write a poem with an "ingenious twist at the end"":
"I’m honoured as a lifelong friend to praise the bridegroom, Ben,
And tell the bride I know her man will outshine other men.
Though most expect the Best Man’s speech to tarnish and subvert
The bridegroom’s reputation and to dish up all the dirt
On past misdeeds, immortal sins and all his wayward ways,
The bride will be surprised to hear I offer only praise.
For Ben’s a budding Romeo, romantic to the core,
His touch will be as tender as the wavelets on the shore.
His warm embrace will soothe her pain, his words will calm her fears,
His searching eyes and loving sighs will move her soul to tears.
His kisses will taste sweeter than the rarest ruby wine,
No truer love a bride could find — no better valentine.
He’ll swear she’ll be the only one he’ll cherish and adore
Declaring that he’s never felt such love as this before.
And if the bride should doubt my word, as new brides often do,
Ask any girl who’s here today — she’ll tell you that it’s true!"