Talking To Deceased Relatives

[nailit]

Think you all know the story about my mums terminal cancer so no need to give the back story.
However, had a call from my sister this morning to say that she had been up all night listening to my mum having conversations with her brother. He died last year.
Rang her this evening after work and she said that she's still the same. Doesnt know who my sister is now but carries on talking to her brother.
Only saw her a couple of days ago, and whilst in pain and a bit grumpy and sleepy, seemed quiet lucid....spent some time watching tv, talking about the news etc.

You hear stories like this....people close to death and talking to past relatives...but its freaking me out a bit.

Anyone else had similar experiences?

[nailit]

BTW, Wouldnt be surprised if she lived until next xmas. Had a lot of scares since her diagnosis nearly 2 yrs ago but she keeps on going.

[Bobbisox1]

I haven't personally Nailt but have heard this happen many times before x

[barry1010]

Yes, it is very common and I agree it can be unsettling. I can't explain why it happens but it does seem to bring comfort to the terminally ill.

[SparklyKid]

I often have conversations with my mum and dad.
All in my head I know. Dad died 10th April 1982, Mum 5th June 86.
Just nice to remember them.

[ummmm]

Yes. My nan used to think my granddad was her father, she's often talk to him as if he was. What is strange about that is my nan never met her father, she hadn't even seen a picture of him.

She thought my OH was her twin brother. When her twin died we decided not to tell her. I went to pick her up from her care home and the first thing she said to me was 'I'm not a twin anymore' she chose to say that to me not even knowing who I was.

Other times were funny. I'd explain I was taking her to see her husband. She followed me into the kitchen and said he wasn't her husband, he's an old man and she was only 40.

It changed daily. Saddening.

[Milo2]

My grandfather was in hospital after a stroke and in his lucid moments, told us that grandma, who had died a few years previously, was on the ward watching over him. He died a few weeks later, still saying that he could see her.

[Mamyalynne]

As others have said, it's quite usual - she knows her time is near and her mind is turning to those who have gone before her (it really doesn't make a difference if she expressed such thoughts before,now is different).

My Mum in her final days watched her life play out as if in a film on the ceiling of her room, she would occasionally tell us what was happening with a glorious smile.

[lady-janine]

So distressing for you and your sister. Can't think of anything else to say.

[nailit]

Whats really freaking me out a bit, TBH, is that last night I woke with a start after dreaming that I was pushing a cart with her coffin on it to the front of the crematorim...and then my sister rang with this news.
Ive never once had a dream about my mother, since her diagnosis, that I can recall, never mind one about her dying. Ive accepted that she is dying, albeit slowly.

[pixie374]

Yes, seen it loads of times... and especially very near the end.... and often an exceptionally lucid and energetic bout as well.
I think, as the body is shutting down, it just makes people think and realise. Also people just asking about past relatives. It's totally normal x

[burlyshirley]

Why is is freaking you out, because you don't believe ? Your Mum's grasp on life is tenuous now and she's able to see and converse with lost loved ones. Happens a lot. I know a lovely, elderly lady who was dying in hospital and she kept saying to her daughters 'look at your Dad stood there waiting for me' and then at other times her arm would suddenly shoot up and she'd say that Jim (her deceased husband) is pulling her arm because he wants her to go with him. She wasn't scared, just irritated with him because she didn't feel she was ready ! However, she did die very soon afterwards and it was lovely to think of them strolling off arm in arm together.

[eve1974]

Interesting and comforting. 2 theories. 1st it’s purely imagination bought about by (subconsciously) longing for happier times. 2nd it’s spirits of dearly departed ones. For me I believe it’s the 1st but whatever it is it’s no matter because if it is a comfort in final days that’s the main thing

[pixie374]

Sorry mamya, just seen your post. I quite agree.

[Mamyalynne]

Your dreams are also understandable, I hate to use a religious word but waiting for one you love to die peacefully is like being in limbo.

Very painful.

[nailit]

//Why is is freaking you out, because you don't believe ?//
No, because I think my mums dying.
Im fully aware that our subconscious can pick up clues that we arnt aware of and translate them into dreams etc...hence my dream.

[Purist]

My father had some conversations with deceased relatives in the few days before he died, the conversations used to make him very happy.

[nailit]

//I hate to use a religious word but waiting for one you love to die peacefully is like being in limbo//
It is Mamy. Been in limbo for nearly 2 yrs now. Interestingly ive never considered 'limbo' a religious word...

[pixie374]

Nailit, 16:40, I think that is true both for you and your mum. I don't see anything religious is mamya's post, either.

[roopower]

Yes, twice when my mum was close to death she had conversations with her parents both of whom had died decades previously. On both occasion mum pulled through and told us that her parents had stood one either side of her, holding her hands, telling her it wasn't her time and they would see her in due course.

[Patsy33]

My FiL used to have conversations with his Mum and Dad towards the end of his life. He was 95. The family put it down to hallucinations brought on by medication.