Dilemma - To Interfere Or Not?

[bednobs]

I have recently found out by accident that my sister in lw has written a book. The book chronicles her terrible up bringing and terrible life until she overcame the awfulness of her childhood to triumph.it's onr of those true life story things.

problem being, i have known her since she was about 7 and don't recognise the awful things she is saying about her mum and dad (my husband is child from different marriage and ws grown up by the time she was born and had moved out). I appreciate i did not live her life, or live in her family, and to have a rags to riches story made interesting, you might have to exaggerate both ends but i m extremely disheartened either because it'strue and i didn't see it, or because it's untrue, but out there and published as if it was. She was estranged from the family for a while but has recently been making contact, coming to family events etc.
what should i do (if anything?)

[woofgang]

What can you do?

[bednobs]

i wondered if i should let her brothers and sisters know what she is saying about their family life, or just erase it from my mind an quiety seethe :)

[woofgang]

What dies your husband think? I mean there may be more truth in what she says that you (or he) were aware of, and/or her sibs might know already and not want to discuss it. I think in this case, even though they aren’t full sibs, I would be guided by what your husband want to do.

[bednobs]

i daren't tell him! him and sister have always hada somewhat rocky relationship anyway

[Sqad]

It's a book for Christ's sake, you think it is fiction and your sister thinks it's fact ( I guess).
Whoever buys and reads the book wouldn't associate it with you or your sister or whether it is fact or fiction and will be either thrown away or forgotten about.

No big deal.........forget it.

[pixie374]

Has she written it under her real name? It might be a mixture of some truth, exaggerated for a book, completely true or total fiction. I would leave it

[TWR]

I would keep out of it Bednobs unless it' effecting your family

[Peter Pedant]

I would leave it.

One of my frenz who was quite normal really described being made to lick their way across the cellar floor as a punishment on a regular basis
yup LICK - and was deeply scarred by all this

his sister commented 'o yeah Dad was a bit odd about that sort of thing' and made it clear she had just shrugged her shoulders and got on with her life....

so I would leave it - I have often wondered what I would do if it occurred in my family and I thought i would intervene if it got discussed on teevee and not otherwise .....

[Mosaic]

You only need to scratch the surface and you find everyone's got weird stuff in their background. Siblings experience the same family differently, and perceive the same event differently. BTW anyone can publish a book - you just pay a publisher some money. That's a million miles away from anyone actually buying and reading said book, and isn't a 'publishing deal' ie the publisher actually pays you to write and you also get royalties from sales.

She's got it off her chest hopefully. Just walk away from it. If the book goes mega (if!) and if your OH is so minded, you can make a coupla bob from the red-top press with a shock horror story about the book not being based on truth. Should do family relations a world of good.....

[woofgang]

If you daren’t tell him then stay well clear. If you found out by accident, does anyone know you know? because if they don’t then I would immediately develop selective amnesia.

[atalanta]

Are you worried about it being published ? It seems most unlikely that a commercial publisher would take it on. If she published it herself it would cost quite a lot of money. If she has used real names and has defamed these people, they can threaten to sue for libel, but that also is very expensive. And she probably hasn't any money to pay damages anyway. If she has changed the names and claims these are not real people, she can say to those who see themselves in the bad characters " if the cap fits . . . " and they will be condemning themselves. If it is mentioned on a certain famous internet bookselling site, you could always write a review to be added to the catalogue entry.

[jno]

two of Enid Blyton's daughters wrote books about her. One said she was a wonderful mum. The other one said she was appalling. (As we like to believe the worst of everyone, the latter has become the standard view.) But both defended their views. They just had completely different experiences of her. Both were telling the truth as they saw it.

I'd let it lie, myself. The very best that could happen if you did anything would be stir up trouble; and it's not your family. If your husband wants to do something about it, he can.

[bednobs]

it's alredy been published - by a publisher - that's how i know what's in it

[woofgang]

If you think that your husband might find out that you knew and didn’t mention it...you might like to tell him.....it might hurt him more to know that you knew and didn’t say anything.

[Mosaic]

Bednobs - all printed books are produced by publishers. The big difference is whether the author is paid by the publisher, or the pays the publisher - the latter is sometimes called vanity publishing.

[ummmm]

Bednobs - I would leave it. You never know what goes on behind closed doors.