changing daughters surname?

[coweyes30]

I divorced my daughters dad when she was 2, He had when i can be bothered attitude and saw her every now and then payments was made few and far between via csa.Then stopped altogether some time ago. I am now with a man of 5 years with 2 more children so my 1st daughter now 11 would like to change her name to his. Is this possible and how would i go about it? We was married he is on the birth cert but when divorce went through he never put in for any custardy!
I told him sometime ago that her wish was to change her name but he said no chance and that i was lying because she's not told him.

I must state he is now married to my cousin with another daughter and sent cards at christmas and birthday this year lol.

[coco pops]

Don't think you can change your daughters surname without your ex's consent. Don't know what legal age is to change name by deed poll that would be another option for your daughter.

[beverleymot]

you can change it but you have to go thru a long winded court process and could be expensive. but in general you do need the fathers consent.

cant she tell her dad how she feels? maybe if he saw that she really wanted to change then he may help her- or even give her a double barrelled name?

[Richard1966]

Hi.

Because you were married when she was born he has parental responsibility as defined under the Children's Act. This means he has a say in her upbringing and can object to some things (this can be overridden by a court order but this can be complex). This means you cant change her name without his consent or without a family court order allowing it. This would be a specific issue order under the children's act and a solicitors help would be needed. Courts will only grant an order if it is in the best interest of the child. In this instance they might think it is but again a carefully proposed argument by a solicitor might be needed. The court also take account of what the child wants and the older and more mature they are the more their view is considered.

You should ask him formally in writing for consent to change and if he refuses, go see a solicitor to see if its worth an application.

Good luck.

[coweyes30]

Thanks everyone knew it wouldn't be easy will look into it into more detail.

[zzxxee]

yes i changed my daughters sirname after her dad had no contact after one year its caklled a change of name deed done at solicitors and your daughter is over 10 so take her along as they seem to take 10 as the age where they no their own mind

[Drisgirl]

Sorry coweyes -but IMO-I just think that is so wrong to even contemplate it.
Her name is her heritage regardless of how bad a dad he has been and how much it would seal your new family by all having the same name.She is still at an impressionable age and may resent this move when she becomes an adult herself.I know for a fact that children may be swayed at that age -it happened to my husband with his son -although he retained his given name.
I know thats not the advice you asked for plus I am not having a pop - far from it but think long and hard -you are depriving your child of her true name.
My daughter once otr twice fell out with her dad -my ex -and wanted to change her name the usual melodramatics -but I just told her it wasnt on -thanfully I stood firm cos he was killed lat year -think how she would have felt had I given in or even pursued it on her behalf -doesnt bear thinking about.
Just another angle on your Q thats all xx

[Bohne]

Her name is her heritage... you are depriving it of her true name...

I think that is going a bit far, or every woman, giving up her TRUE name after marrying would be forsaking her heritage.

I think a name is just that.
A couple of letters by which people can adress you, and distinguish between different people.

If your daughter will feel better having the same name as the rest of the family, as I can imagine she would, go ahead, and make her life easier.

Her dad should give her more than a name, if he is interested in being part of her life.