Put-Downs

[Khandro]

Do you have a favourite? I have just come across this corker. The unpleasant sounding Wynford Hicks - who has recently been writing about his student days affair with Charlotte who was to become years later Boris's mother - had, according to the historian Robert Skidelsky, in those days, 'Golden locks & a flowing beard' Skidelsky relates:

" I vividly remember when he [Hicks] got up to interrupt the Liberal politician Jeremy Thorpe, who was speaking in a debate at the Oxford Union. Quick as a flash, Thorpe acknowledged with the words; 'I am so glad you could be here from Oberammergau to be with us this evening'.

[Peter Pedant]

I treasure the one liners used to crush my incessant burblings on such diverse things as production of vaccines or landlord and tenant law

stupid man - - - then later the cooda grass - stupid post
and where oh where has Baldrics fave - nurse more night sedation!

and oh the week's earliest appearance - ( week begins at 0900 Monday) -"what's he been on den?" - timed at 09 01 one week

NJ asked why I contribute- - I think you can probably ggggguuuuuueeeeeesss! ( say in sing songy voice)

[Peter Pedant]

where has baldric fave gone?
sozz
hey joke joke
a put down to put down this thread - taken from mhy treasure store

oh Khandro you ARE a stupid man!

]note that was one of my jokes Candy - nice to see you posting]

[woofgang]

I don't collect them or have favourites but a good book here Amazon.com User Recommendation

[Peter Pedant]

oh oh
Churchill I think we have had - Mr C you are drunk - the taxi one

Oh, against Two Jags prescott at question time with Hague
Prescot - - shameful showing at the last election
Hague - oh yes the last election - at least I got thro it without hitting anyone!

Macmillan on the resignation en mass of his treasury team 1962 - including enoch powell
a little local difficulty ....
( he lost the election)

winding back - attlee, chamberlain ( peace in our time) Baldwin McDonald - didnt have one

oh, money runs out - never there in Cairo 1899 so Ld Edward Cecil (*) goes down to Baring with a personal cheque for £1m. The Barings brother says - how do I know the British govt will honour this cheque
and Lord Eddie says - because my father is prime minister

[Peter Pedant]

I have a copy of Diana RIggs
no turn unstoned
bad reviews ....

[aelmpvw]

groucho marx, 'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it'.

[Khandro]

Also Oscar's, "He has no enemies, but all his friends dislike him intensely".

[Cloverjo]

I like the one supposedly said by Ian Botham, when being sledged by another cricketer who had said “How are your wife and my kids?” Botham replied “The wife is fine. The kids are retarded.”

There are lots of funny cricket ones.

[sandyRoe]

An oldie, but a good one.
Your wife, sirrah, under the pretext of keeping a bawdy house, is a receiver of stolen goods.

[emmie]

groucho marx, i wouldn't belong to a club that would me as a member

[emmie]

missed out the have me as a member, doh!

[Peter Pedant]

about a film with Victor Mature

Groucho - I would never be in a film where the mans tots are bigger than the woman's !

(I think it is the one where the girl dreams of being Giiiiiina Romaaaaaantica)