Social Anxiety ..

[Elina]

Anyone have it, or had it & managed it?

[Cloverjo]

Hi, Elina. I asked you start a thread about this, so I'd better respond. :)
As you know I have social anxiety, because of the thing I posted yesterday (or today) about having to go to a party.
I didn't want to go to it, but said "feel the fear and do it anyway". I did and it was ok. Some people might have thought I was boring because I'm quiet, but I thought some more of the people there were quite boring because they talk too much.
Just do it. There are lots of days where you want to stay at home fearing people are judging you, but be yourself and do what you like.

[Buenchico]

Possibly worth a read:
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-anxiety/pages/social-anxiety.aspx

[Cloverjo]

Thank you, buenchico.
I've had the therapy you mentioned. It helped at the time, but now I'm just thinking "do it or don't do it". What you do you just get on with it.

My son was very shy when he was young, possibly because he learned from me. He decided to be different and made an effort to talk to people, on planes, trains, supermarket queue, wherever. Everyone loves him.

[Elina]

Hi Clover, I identified with things you were saying in previous posts. I have two works Christmas dos coming up, one informal one formal. Not too worried about the first .. the other will be Sat round a large table eating a meal, I find eating in those situations awkward. I'm nothing like as bad as I used to be though. Looking back I blame being out of a work environment for a while when I had children. Eventually I got back in to mainstream work, but I had a few blips getting there.

[Elina]

Hi Buen, I have/ have had some of those symptoms listed in your link & had at one time used drink as a crutch, never to the point of being problematic though. It's a funny thing when going through these things that you just think it's yourself, you don't recognise it as anything else.

[Elina]

Clover, can I ask do you work?

[waterboatman]

Believe it or not, I was like that. At a party I'd be the one in the corner trying to not be seen. Even in army days that was me. At a party held by a Kiwi family in Malaya, I was sat on the stairs with a can of beer trying to not be noticed. The lady of the house came and sat beside me. She just quitly talked to me and told me exactly how I was feeling. She just kept talking and I kept listening. In about an hour she had changed my whole mindset. I think her hubby put her up to it, because whebn she had finished he came over and asked me if I was feeling better. It turtned out she was psycology practitioner, working at the military hospital with wounded troops. It turned into one of the best parties Id ever been to!

[Elina]

Brilliant Waterman. Ill have to come back to this thread.

[Cloverjo]

Elina, yes I do work. We had a work party last week which I didn't go to, because as you say anxiety about eating in front of other people. My hands tend to shake in those situations so it's impossible to eat, and that's before worrying about what I'm going to talk about,if anything.

However,I went to another party the other day and no one took any notice of my shaking hands and quietness.

[jennyjoan]

Elina - I think that today's life is full of social anxiety - show me the man that doesn't have it and I'll kiss his feet (provided he has washed them before)

[jennyjoan]

Bless her - I remember going somewhere and I inadvertently touched my friend's hands and they were absolutely soaking - the water was running down the palms- yet she can she a bloody cheeky ***. there ya go.

[Baldric]

JJ, you do talk some nonsense at times. I am in no way belittling anyones anxieties, I love socialising, parties etc, I am secure in being who/what I am and have no problem with it. I would however prefer it if my feet remained unslobbered upon ;o)

[jennyjoan]

well sorry Baldric - we all can't be as confident as you can - this lady still suffers from slobbering hands. And you can be ok that I won't be kissing your feet in any way even if they were well washed/



By the way it is a rude word to use NONSENSE to any post. Every post deserves its day.

[DaisyNonna]

Quite happy to talk to people I meet at a bus stop or in a queue or someone with a dog I meet in the street
Why? Because they are strangers and it is unlikely that we will become friends
Not happy in a situation meeting new people who might

[Baldric]

Cheers ;o)

[jennyjoan]

Do me a favour baldric
Baldric

Cheers ;o) - what does it mean literally - thanks

[Baldric]

"Be of good cheer, enjoy!"
;o)

[jennyjoan]

TO ME - any let's call the whole off -

you say tomaytoes I say tomatoes
I say potaytoes you say potatoe


let's callllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the whole thing of - good night bye

[Elina]

;0)

[ummmm]

I do to a certain extent. I do start to relax after a while. I'm okay if I'm with my OH....he'll talk to anyone.