Is It Possible

[queenofmean]

To grieve for something that hasn't happened yet?

It all comes from a chat I had with my partners mum this morning and it hit home that I will have to move out at some point but the thought of leaving my dad breaks my heart

I can't stop crying and I don't know why I am. I've had a really good weekend and everything.

[Cloverjo]

I was typing my reply while you were typing your latest post. It doesn't sound as if he's looking for anyone else, so why worry?
My dad is the same after my mum died. He will carry on pottering along, not looking for anyone. I can't imagine him with anyone either.

[queenofmean]

I wish I could Clover but he is all I have and I'm all he has. I was crying in McDonald's and it sounds stupid but I told him I wish he could live forever because he's my world.

[queenofmean]

Worry is my middle name Clover. I just hate the thought that something will happen to him and in can't be there to look after him or protect him.
I feel like I failed with my mum and I don't want history to repeat itself.

I'm deeply upset and I've been crying for hours over this.

I want to stop I just can't.

[pastafreak]

Of course your dad said he didn't want to be with anyone else...I'm sure that's what he felt immediately after losing your mum. That's expected. But, feelings and needs change. Time passes and sorrow diminishes. You can't expect your dad to live in isolation now...it could become incredibly lonely for him. And you cannot fill that emptiness...if it's there...in the same way as a partner might. And I doubt your mum would want him to be alone. Another lady in his life will not replace or remove your mum from his heart.

[queenofmean]

I understand Pasta. I know I've said I'd not tolerate it I don't want him to be miserable and I'll openly admit if he DID want to find someone new and she tried anything I'd have something to say - that's just my mum in me. But I'm all honesty deep down he is happy going to work, pottering, and sleeping. I'm just too overproctective and I don't want to see him hurt.

I know my actions aren't right but I'm scared to let go.

[anneasquith]

Time to let your father lead his life Queenie, as he appears not to interfere in your love life, you should be as respectful to him.

[NoMercy]

QoM, you clearly have not comes to terms with your mother's passing and with regard to your dad meeting someone else, I daresay he's nowhere near ready yet, so don't go getting upset about something that is not certainly on the horizon. Cross that bridge if and when you come to it, but for now just take one day at a time.

[waterboatman]

Queenie my lovely. Vera and I told each other 'I love you.' several times every day, especially upon waking and just before going to sleep. It's always good to say and hear. Do it often. :o}

[jno]

Tbh, queenie, you sound as if you're treating him like your child instead of the other way round. After all, has he ever said he wouldn't tolerate it if you found someone?

Moving out gives him the chance to make his own life as much as you. And it's natural. We all grow up, grow old and die; our task is to make the very most of ourselves - not other people. - in the time we have.

[andres]

You need to see someone about your feelings. Don't keep torturing yourself .