Misheard

[mallyh]

i was talking to my granddaughter about a person I know who I met at bingo I said she's the one that f's and blinds but has a heart of gold ,granddaughter looked at me funnily and said how can she play bingo if she's deaf and blind. .........ok i'll get on with my housework lol x

[jennyjoan]

one night my friend and I were out and I lipread her saying - "do you want a pair of teeth" that's what I lipread - but she was asking me did I want a aperitif. now that was a laugh or too. lol

[jennyjoan]

was on a bus one night coming home from work and these two hard girls were giving off to one an another about a fight the previous night they were involved in. I'm engrossed with the lipreading as I was so enjoying their conversation. Next - PAUSE - two girls staring at me - "what's that blonde funker looking at". Me - I'm looking out the window. LOL

[Cloverjo]

My dad was growing crickets to feed his 'pet' spider. One day I asked how the crickets are. He replied ''They're all out!" I looked around expecting to see loads of the insects all over the place, but he meant the England cricket team was out. ^^)

[roopower]

Not a misheard, but still funny, I think. Older grandson aged five and his friends were trying to persuade younger grandson, four in a few days, to play monsters. YG had obviously taken on board that he was going to be a big boy, pulled himself up to his full height " I'm grown up, I'm too old to play stupid games".
OG patting his tummy "Look at my sixpack" YG patting his chest "Look at my backpack".
Ds

[mallyh]

don't you just love them lol x

[mallyh]

thanks for all your replies xx.I was trying to bring a little fun to ab xx

[aelmpvw]

a workmate of mine phoned in sick saying he was having trouble with his piles. When he returned to work the following day the boss asked him how his roof was? he thought he'd said he was having trouble with his tiles.

[mallyh]

lol at least he didn't get slated for having time off x

[Cloverjo]

I've just been looking at a thread about misheard song lyrics in related posts below.
I've only now found out the line in Hotel California is actually
" My mother was a tailor/ SEWED my new blue jeans." She didn't actually sell them as I've been thinking all these years. Thanks, Andy-Hughes, for that one :)

[Canary42]

/// line in Hotel California is actually
" SEWED my new blue jeans" ///

You obviously misheard the venue too, Cloverjo ;-)

It was "The House of the Rising Sun", not the "Hotel California"