c.s.a

[tcc65]

Hoping someone may be able to help.
My ex-husband stopped paying maintenance payments for our daughter 15mnths ago. I have contacted the C.S.A and they have attempted to trace his employment details through the Inland Revenue on several occassions....and failed. They have his address but he is ignoring their letters and phone calls. As a result I have had to return to full time work...long hours less time with my daughter etc. My ex has always had good jobs with resonable income 60k plus . Has anyone got any thoughts on what else I can do?

[Mrs_Pegasus]

Find out where he works is the answer. Is there anyway you can find this out? Can you not follow him to his work - sounds very basic but all you need is the name of the company. If you dont want to be seen doing this you could consider a private investigator.

[boro1986]

My heart bleeds not. Most mothers have to work full time after the baby is born its not great is it. But you seem to think it is ok for fathers to slog their gut out and see little of there children!

[tcc65]

boro1986 In response to your reply. don't think I did say or imply that is was ok for fathers to slog their guts out nor did I at any point discuss fathers rights to see their children.These are two very seperate issues.

It is the resposibility of both parenst to provide for their child and that is simply all I am asking for.I do not object to working full time, my point is that if my childs father paid any money towards his daughter than I may not have to work the hours that I do in order to support her!

I did not expect your heart to bleed for me, I simply asked a question

I sense a certain bitterness in your reply.........I wonder why!!!!!!!!

[tcc65]

My ex has moved over 400 miles from where I live so it's not possible for me to follow him to work

Many thanks for your reply

[RATTER15]

boro, don't be such an idiot!! A mother should not have to work full time to earn money to bring up her child, that is the Fathers job, I'm sure tcc65 would be far better doing her full time work looking after her home and child, that's not say she shouldn't go out to work if she wants.

[madman06]

dont understand all this me and my ex partner split over 12months ago,we have 3 kids 1 girl 6 and twin boys 4 (1 is disabbled) i do over timeat work just so she gets more money,y carnt every1 be civallised in breaking up when kids r involved my 3 kids didnt ask to be brought into this life and neither did TCC65s id give my last penny to marie if i thought it would benefit the kids, TCC65 get what you can and how u can good luck with the low life who dosent want to be seen as a farther

[Beanmistriss]

We are in exactly the same position with my boyfriends ex. They know where she is etc but even tho shes managing to pay a mortgage etc they can trace no recordof earnings. It's mental but seems theres nothing you can do unless you can actually find out where he works. Although with the "new CSA" must fill us all with optimism! LMAO

RATTER I hope that was a sarcastic reply, the mans job my ar*e, You both have the kid,you both have the responsibility.

[boro1986]

No tcc65 i have no kids. What makes my blood boil is people well woman who think cause they have a kid it gives them a gods given right to stay at home getting fat while watching Jeremy Kyle. As soon as they split straight to the CSA which thank god they are getting rid of as it is evil. I am a soldier and some of the lads have huge amounts taken out direct from there wages as government workers are easy to target. How a lad earning 1000 a month should pay 250 for a baby (love to know if a little baby costs 250 a month) while his idle wife sits on her arse getting all sorts off the government i.e. every taxpayers money

[RATTER15]

boro, why don't you butt out of this until you know what you are talking about, yes it can cost �250.00 a month to keep a baby, the baby does need a roof over its head or are you saying that is all down to the Mother to provide that �400 a month minimum depending on area and that is before food, clothing, etc.

If your army buddies don't want to fork out for their own children, they shouldn't have them!!

I am a male by the way and I supported my children via the CSA without a problem when I split up with my Wife.

Now grow up and stop behaving like a tw@t!!!!!

[RATTER15]

I do agree that the CSA is a very dodgy organisation though!!! but �250.00 a month is fair!!!

[boro1986]

Rattler please expalin how a little baby costs so much. Roof over its head doesnt wash you pay for that regardless for yourself

[RATTER15]

Beanmistriss, no it wasn't a sarcastic reply, I'm stating that looking after a child can be a full time job in itself for the Mother, and the father should be doing a full time job to support his child. Did you misread it or do you disagree?

[RATTER15]

boro, lets hope you never become a father, if the Mother didn't have the baby she would be able to work all the hours she wanted to provide a roof over her own head, having a baby means if she is out working all hours, she isn't at home looking after baby, not that difficult to work out is it!!

[boro1986]

No rattler my point is both should go back to work its a to way thing thats what child care is for

[RATTER15]

boro, So who is looking after the child, Mother is out working to pay a childminder to look after a child that should be looked after by its Mother, you don't understand do you boro, looking after a child can be a full time job, supporting a family can be a full time job, Mother and Father are therefore both doing full time jobs, what is the issue!! Forget about the finances boro, there is more to bringing up a child than money!!

[Beanmistriss]

Ratter, I don't disagree atall. I think fathers should work full time to support their children. But although being a mother can be a "full time job" there is no reason that a woman can't go out and work to support that child too. It may not be the prefered choice but if your relationship breaks down and you are struggling for money then you have to do what you have to do. Like I said it is the responsibility of both parents. I don't believe that the father should be responsible to pay all of the mums bills. It's a joint responsibility.

Like I also said we are in a similar position to tcc65 (obviosly not the same cos I live with them too and I dont know how old her kid is) in that we can't get maintainance from my boyfriend ex for his son who lives with us for the same reasons. The only diffirence to that from your argument is, is that in our case it is the mother who is not paying. I dont expect that his mother should pay the entire bills for our household while my boyfriend stays home to be with him but she should make a fair contribution while he provides the rest.

I also think its important that she has enough left over to provide somewhere safe for him so when he goes to visit her its not in some s*itty bedsit. It shouldn't be just about getting whatever you can out of someone but offering the best for your child.

Tcc65 this is not aimed at you, its just a reply to ratter. I wish you all the luck in tracking him down

[RATTER15]

Beanmistriss, I agree if the Mother wants to go out to work than she should be able to do that, as I said in my first post, I'm just saying that it can be a full time job bringing up a child. I just don't think it should be required, if the Father is working full time and able to support his child.

[tcc65]

Boro 1986

I can assure you that most mums do not sit at home getting fat watching Jeremy Kyle!!!!!

You obviously have no idea of the cost of raising a child or the childcare costs involved for a full-time working Mum in excess of �300 per month and a lot more during school holidays. Meanwhile her father who earns over 3x my annual salary lives in a large house drives a very expensive car and enjoys several luxury holidays a year. .........and no I don't object to how he spends his money he works hard and it is his right to ejoy his earnings. However he also has a responsibilty as do I towards our child!!!!

When your army buddies fathered children what did they expect? To spend all their salary on Booze. Fags and having a good time no doubt!!!!

[RATTER15]

Well said tcc65, I agree wholeheartedly, boro is just a little upstart who has no idea of life, well the army does all his thinking for him now!!