scouser's

[tonyav]

what does a scouse girl use as protection during sex ?
a bus shelter.
what do you call a 30 year old scouse girl ?
granny.
what do you call a scouse girl in a white track suit ?
the bride.
whats the first question on a scouse quiz night ?
wot you looking at !
two scousers in a car with no music. who's driving ?
the police.
whats the most confusing day in liverpool ?
fathers day.

[T&S]

I thought this was the joke section...

[tonyav]

what's up t&s, are you a scouse ?

[JonnyBoy12]

I hear there is to be a ramake of a popuar Steve Carell film in Liverpool, with a Scouse theme.

It is called "The 14 year old virgin".

[tonyav]

like it jonny. lol

[carrust]

How can you tell when a Scouse woman has had an orgasm?

She drops her chips!

[tonyav]

keep em coming, very good that one carrust.

[carrust]

Prostitute...Do you want a blow job...

Scouser...Will it affect my dole....

[lesblue]

What do you call a Scouser in a suit? The accused.

[frankleigh]

Sean Connery, age 72 but still active, boasted on the Michael Parkinson show that he could still give a woman the time of her life at least 3 times a night. After the show, Cilla Black, another guest, spoke to Sean about proving his claim.

After the normal preliminaries, they moved to Cilla�s house and had a couple of drinks. Then the action moved upstairs.

After the first bout, Cilla agreed that it had been the time of her life.

Sean however said �I promised you 3 times. If you will just let me sleep for half an hour, we�ll do it again and it will be even better.� Of course Cilla agreed, but then Sean said �There is one condition �You must hold my balls in your left hand, and my John Thomas in your right hand while I sleep�.

30 minutes later he awoke and, true to his word, it was even better.

�Mow my dear� he said, �Let me sleep for an hour but there is one condition�. �I know�, said Cilla, �You want me to hold your balls in my left hand, and your tool in my right hand while you sleep�.

After the hour it happened. The earth moved, orchestras played, and Cilla was in 7th heaven. �I�d never have believed that holding your balls and your tool while you slept could get you so excited� cried Cilla.

�It doesn�t� replied Sean, �But the last time I slept with a scouser, she stole my wallet�.

[snigsthecat]

Not all scousers have a dud sense of humer been living here 17 years(liverpool) and have yet to meet one who dont laugh at good jokes like these ... please keep it up

[LittleStar12]

lol @ these but i dont get the last one about liverpool?