Film, Media & TV0 min ago
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the... ...
At our local chippy, they still use old newspaper to wrap up their fish and chips.
Yesterday I got a plaice in the sun.
Yesterday I got a plaice in the sun.
We always hear about David and Ed Milliband, but nobody ever talks about their equally famous elder brother Glen, whose flight disapeared over the Channel. ___ What part of the human body is called... ...
How did Mary and Joseph get their groceries delivered? On a Lidl donkey…
My 8 year old grandson just came running down the stairs shouting at the top of his voice,"Grandaaaaad,Grandaaaad,don't get me a bike for Christmas." I said,"Why ?" He said,"I just found one... ...
I just tried to call Boots and complain that I couldnt find toothpaste. I couldn't get signal..
I have formed an Xmas choir. All welcome. So far it's just Dean,Don,Mary, Lee and I.
I had to laugh at the cover picture of Private Eye - a picture of HRH Princess Anne pinning a medal (MBE) on Gregg Wallace - and his speech bubble is saying,"Another woman of a certain age trying... ...
Anyone know where the Tesco staff Christmas party is this year…
I’ve been using the self-checkout all year so figured I’d go along 🎄
I’ve been using the self-checkout all year so figured I’d go along 🎄
I bought a book on how to re-wire my house.
I was shocked when I realised it was written by amateurs. ___ Managing your weight around the Christmas and New Year break just requires a little planning....
I was shocked when I realised it was written by amateurs. ___ Managing your weight around the Christmas and New Year break just requires a little planning....
I thought a pyramid would look nice in my over-large garden so I asked a local builder if he knew how to construct one. He replied,"Yes, up to a point"
My son's swallowed his mobile phone doing some daft prank and it is stuck in his throat ... I'm gonna ring his neck..
My mate has quit his job at BMW.
He gave no indication he was leaving.
He gave no indication he was leaving.
I was raised by a pack of hyenas. Life was tough, food was scarce. But boy, did we laugh !
"I've just been given a pet termite, I've called him Clint" "Why" "Because he eats wood" 😁
I lent a Roadworker £50 once, He has never '
Re Surfaced'
Re Surfaced'
I've decided I identify as a supermarket I've felt like this since I was lidl
You have to feel sorry for Jonathan Ross, he's just spent two weeks in Powys, thinking that he'd booked for a fortnight in the French Capital City. ___ I'll tell you how good my Doctor is: He... ...
.. for those that are ageing. https:/
Went to my local health centre with suspected Lyme disease. The receptionist said, "The doctor will be with you in two ticks".
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