Have A Laugh Pt.2

[marval]

I'm often accused of eavesdropping.
I just wish they'd have the guts to say it to my face


I was telling a funny gag in the garden today, but the punch line was greeted with silence.
Later on, my brother told the same one in the lounge, and the room erupted with laughter.
I think it was an inside joke.


I'm hoping to find a cure for my hiccups.
But I'm not holding my breath.


To build a bit of tension, I decided to use the "long pause" technique beloved of talent shows before I announced the result.
After about ten seconds the Judge said, "A simple Guilty, or Not Guilty will suffice Mr. Foreman."


Spelling yllistsuj backwards is just silly


My wife said, "Come on now... It's not the first time you've been premature is it?"
"I know," I replied, "But I just get over excited sometimes. I can't help it."
"Right. Let's sort this out. I'll get the decorations down and you put the Christmas tree back in the attic until December."


I compared a modern calculus textbook to one my dad had today, and its amazing how little has changed!
I couldn't differentiate between them.


I have someone coming round in half an hour to measure up for a conservatory.
I can't wait to see their faces when they realize I'm in a third floor flat.


We've kicked this emu out of our club because he was too big.
He's been ostrich sized.


I was arrested after smearing somebody's luggage with Vaseline.
The police dropped the case.

[jim360]

Were both of those calculus books integral to your education?

[maggiebee]

Brilliant marval, especially 4. Keep them coming

[bookbinder]

Well done, marval! They're all good! In a dismal world, we can always rely on you to give us a laugh! Keep 'em coming!

[maggiebee]

Marval and Jim - the calculus one was the only one I couldn't understand lol

[cupid04]

Liked them all especialy no.6! LOL.

[jim360]

I'm still trying to think of how to include product rule in a pun.

If it were an especially advanced modern textbook maybe you could partially differentiate between them? No, that's terrible.

[Fanriffic]

Yet again more funny jokes from marval. Brilliant. Ha ha.

These short jokes are just great for a quick burst of humour because sometimes I find the long story jokes are better told rather than read.

Here's one:
I got my girlfriend a new fridge. Can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

[Flyhalf]

Hard to top those!

[excelsior-1]

good selection, marval

[Jemisa]

Some good 'uns there M. :)

jem