Eeeeek - I Thought Better Of Waitrose

[sunny-dave]

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/oct/19/killer-spider-supermarket-shopping

Although there are some positives ...

"Although its venom is highly toxic, it is being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments. The spider’s bite can cause an erection that sometimes lasts for up to four hours."

[DTCwordfan]

This is, no doubt, a marketing sting.......

[Psybbo]

Nooo, the boredom¬

[tonyav]

watcha mean by that.

[gness]

Psyb...he's dying, has a four hour erection........and you worry he'll bore you!.....☺

[sunny-dave]

Never going to get the lid on the coffin :)

[tonyav]

Not without straps, Dave !.

[BlackadderV]

Dear Waitrose,

Please can I order one of your spiders and 5 lusty female Abers.

Yours, BlackadderV

[aelmpvw]

///The spider’s bite can cause an erection that sometimes lasts for up to four hours."///
doris has started looking for her copy of war and peace

[DTCwordfan]

Creeping and crawling, hairy and fat,
The spider sped cross the Waitrose floor.
The spider was wicked
Without a doubt
Killing was all that it cared about
It wanted a victim;
It wanted its dictum;
To give dave an erection!

Sneaking and stalking, nasty and mean,
The spider spied his sunnyt victim.
The spider was awful,
That was for sure.
When it came to evil the spider was pure
It bit him hard;
It injected its venom;
Right through the crotch of his denim.

Grinning and gloating, victorious and gay,
The spider began to flee.
The spider was skilled.
The spider was fast.
It had stiffened so many in the past!
It had bit sunnydave so deep;
A four hour erection guaranteed;
Our dave as bent as a banana.

Shaking and wobbling, content and scared,
The spider entered dave's hall.
The spider was foolish,
dave's erection rather goulish
Our dave wanted revenge.
Spid couldn't outrun him;
Spid couldn't escape;
Spid couldn't alter the boot of fate.

Spasming and suffering, wounded and twisted,
The spider was nearly blown and dead.
The spider had lost,
Squashed under a size 13 shoe
At last the spider has paid its due.
It wouldn't go to heaven;
It wouldn't bite again.
For dave, a hard-on and a champagne.

[sunny-dave]

There's no answer to that DT ... none at all :)