Christmas Joke

[Georgiesmum]

What is orange and goes down chimneys at Christmas?
Fanta claus!

[DaisyNonna]

Feeling cherished DT.

[marval]

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name two of Santa's reindeer.

The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"

The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"

The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

[DTCwordfan]

To the tune of Mistletoe and Wine:

DREAMING OF A SCOUSE CHRISTMAS....

Christmas time, drunkenness and crime,
Children playing - in filth and grime,
With cars on fire - and trainees under tree
Time to rejoice - in be-ing scally,

It's a time for stealing, a time for receiving,
Knock-off gear - worra great feelin
Why pay top dollar - yer can nick it for free,
Just like our lecky, - gas and TV

Christmas time, píssups all the time
Nicking ciggies, - spirits and wine
Wearing-shell-suits and Nykees - all knocked off gear
It's great getting píssed - on someone else's beer

Its a time for drinkin - six packs of Stella
Dat yer got - from some dodgy Fella
Christmas is sound - Christmas is best
God bless our Cilla - and the DHSS

Christmas time - time to joy-ride
Then go and visit - family inside
With Dad on a six stretch - and sis up the duff
This 'City of Culcher' can get pretty rough

So next time your driving - through Liverpool-city
You may just know why - the streets look sh-tty
So keep a sharp eye out - for those dodgy deals
But don't drive too slow - or they'll pinch all four wheels

[DTCwordfan]

I used to go out with a Welsh girl who had 36DDs.

It was a ridiculously long name.

[janbee]

Is this from a christmas cracker ?