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marval

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Mortartube

Number Plate

A bloke came running into my house the other day and said, "There's a bloke outside with a number plate on his head". I said "That'll be our Reg".
12:50 Wed 03rd Jun 20096 answers, last by carlton23 22:11 Wed 03rd Jun 2009
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lesblue

It's snow joke

On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You...
14:46 Wed 03rd Jun 20093 answers, last by lesblue 12:56 Tue 09th Jun 2009
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mcdougall

Lots of colours

1. Initially ass tea to the girl (6) 2. The chickens come from here (8) asked before and someone said eggshell, but I'm not convinced this is a colour.
19:59 Wed 03rd Jun 20094 answers, last by mcdougall 20:14 Wed 03rd Jun 2009
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marval

From elephants to fish.

Q: What day does a fish hate? A: Fry day. Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? A: "Dam." Q: What do fish play on the piano? A: Scales. Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh....
11:34 Wed 03rd Jun 200918 answers, last by marval 19:26 Wed 03rd Jun 2009
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janzman

tuffers on the one show..

Did anyone see Phil Tuffnell's painting of the Union Jack on tonights One Show? I thought it was striking sort of three dimensional. What do you make of it.....
20:30 Tue 02nd Jun 20096 answers, last by zzxxee 17:11 Wed 03rd Jun 2009
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janzman

I know there a bit dated ..

I still chuckle forty years on at these..... Q. How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge A. Footprints in the butter Q. How can you tell if an elephant is in your fridge A. You cant...
21:46 Tue 02nd Jun 200930 answers, last by chrisrob 17:43 Thu 04th Jun 2009
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Denisec4502

Copied CD's???

Why is it when you copy a CD at home on to CD-R or CD-RW disks, why wont the copied disks play on all players??? When I put them into my car stereo it comes up "no disk" and others it plays fine??
15:49 Tue 02nd Jun 200955 answers, last by cazzz1975 19:05 Tue 02nd Jun 2009
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pauln90

Texas Cowboy

Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent...
12:46 Tue 02nd Jun 20091 answer, last by marval 15:58 Tue 02nd Jun 2009
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McMouse

Gone to Heaven

Three friends die in a car accident and attend a welcome meeting in Heaven. An angel asks, "When you are in your casket and your friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them...
10:30 Tue 02nd Jun 20092 answers, last by marval 12:20 Tue 02nd Jun 2009
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daffy654

I'm a grandma again :)

My daughter gave birth to her second child (my 3rd grandchild) at 01.12am this morning after a two and a half hour labour. He weighed in at 7lb 1oz and both mum and baby are doing well. Just wanted to...
11:22 Tue 02nd Jun 200911 answers, last by caththecrazy 22:01 Wed 03rd Jun 2009
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NoMercy

Tina Lykes

In the sleep village of Erbum, near the town of Tillet, in Hertfordshire, lives a woman called Tina Lykes. She is the landlady of the local pub, The C0ck Inn. All her mail is addressed to.... Tina...
22:34 Mon 01st Jun 20094 answers, last by squarebear 12:42 Tue 02nd Jun 2009
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marval

Can I fish?

A man wanted to go ice fishing. He'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, he made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning his comfy...
15:20 Mon 01st Jun 20097 answers, last by notafish 10:35 Wed 03rd Jun 2009
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McMouse

Alcohol

A boy is born without a body, only a head. For his 18th birthday his father, takes him to a bar for a drink. The father orders his son a scotch and when the boy drinks it, an arm pops out of his head....
11:29 Mon 01st Jun 20092 answers, last by marval 20:04 Mon 01st Jun 2009
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McMouse

Lemon entry dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful...
11:12 Mon 01st Jun 20092 answers, last by marval 20:03 Mon 01st Jun 2009
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marval

Bearly a groan.

A German, a Pole and a Czech left camp for a hike through the woods. After being reported missing a day or two later, rangers found two bears, one a male, one a female, looking suspiciously...
23:13 Sat 30th May 20093 answers, last by marval 20:01 Mon 01st Jun 2009
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lindylou16

Ha Ha Hee Hee

Dai and Ianto are begging at an M4 services,? Each holding a sign. Ianto only brings in 2 to 3 pounds a day. Ianto asks Dai how he can bring home a suitcase full of ?10 notes everyday. Dai says, "Look...
13:20 Mon 01st Jun 20092 answers, last by marval 15:18 Mon 01st Jun 2009
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richardjhoop

A letter to the Headmaster of Lions Bay School

Dear Lions Bay School , God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the West Vancouver Home for the Aged. All of my family has...
11:10 Mon 01st Jun 20091 answer, last by marval 15:17 Mon 01st Jun 2009
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jem_bob

Orthognathic Surgery, any tips?

I'm due to undergo Orthognathic surgery next Tuesday, I'm having a mandibular advancement. They're going to break my lower jaw and move it forward so that my teeth fit together and I have a more...
11:00 Mon 01st Jun 200910 answers, last by jem_bob 09:53 Tue 02nd Jun 2009
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marval

Two groan or not to groan

Two of England's finest undertakers, Old Mort Rogers and his brother Dick, are also experts at rigging sailing ships. Most agree that Dick is a fine ship builder, but he's not the rigger Mort is. The...
14:13 Sun 31st May 20093 answers, last by McMouse 10:33 Mon 01st Jun 2009
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firewatch

Ladies need some advice please!

Basically 5 weeks ago i had a miscarriage. My question is how long before the monthlys return its 5 nearly 6 weeks and some signs but noting else how long does it usually take??? A bit confussed is...
19:53 Sat 30th May 20098 answers, last by firewatch 19:32 Sun 31st May 2009

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