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Patsy33

981 to 1000 of 1971

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Patsy33

Coffee Break.

The young reindeer asks Santa, "How come Slasher and Dancer can have a coffee break? Santa replies, "That's because they are star bucks"...
15:58 Fri 22nd Dec 20173 answers, last by marval 16:05 Fri 22nd Dec 2017
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Patsy33

Squirrels

I got in trouble at the local park for lining all the squirrels up in order of height, they didn't like me critter sizing....
18:41 Thu 21st Dec 2017
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Patsy33

Lansoprazole Interfering With Iron Levels

My iron and B12 have been on the low side last few months. I've been advised by my doctor to buy Floradix iron supplement from chemist, which I've been taking on and off. After more blood tests still...
15:44 Thu 21st Dec 20177 answers, last by Patsy33 17:39 Thu 21st Dec 2017
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Patsy33

I Found My Wife..

I found my wife hanging from a rope in the attic. There was a note saying, "I really can't stand your criticsm any longer!" I quickly cut the rope and reanimated her. Thankfully I could bring her back...
13:44 Thu 21st Dec 20173 answers, last by Voltage 14:13 Thu 21st Dec 2017
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Patsy33

Some Of Us Need To Learn Some Respect!

https://mobile.twitter.com/Stonewall_77/status/809746549655961600/video/1...
12:04 Wed 20th Dec 201713 answers, last by Patsy33 12:27 Wed 20th Dec 2017
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Patsy33

Boat Builder

A boat builder is showing his son part of the timber store and says, "Son, one day this will all be oars"...
16:00 Tue 19th Dec 20172 answers, last by Patsy33 16:23 Tue 19th Dec 2017
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Patsy33

My Dad

My dad always told me, “don’t be too quick to find faults”, good man, terrible geologist....
10:27 Mon 18th Dec 201710 answers, last by spathiphyllum 15:26 Mon 18th Dec 2017
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Patsy33

Eggs

I was delivering a box of 144 eggs this morning. Unfortunately, I slipped and all the eggs smashed on the ground. It was a gross mess!
11:12 Sun 17th Dec 20179 answers, last by albaqwerty 14:14 Sun 17th Dec 2017
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Patsy33

Ed Sheeran & Andrea Bocelli

Perfect Symphony https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eiDiKwbGfIY...
19:33 Sat 16th Dec 20177 answers, last by mazie 21:29 Sat 16th Dec 2017
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Patsy33

Prince Harry

Prince Harry says he doesn’t want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding, but Prince Philip insists he's going anyway!...
19:13 Sat 16th Dec 201711 answers, last by zebo 22:22 Sat 16th Dec 2017
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Patsy33

The Noisiest People

A Scottish mother visits her son in his Miami flat. Mother: So Charlie, How do you find the American people? Charlie: They are the noisiest people I have met in my entire life. The neighbour in the...
11:12 Fri 15th Dec 2017
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Patsy33

Window

When the window fell into the incinerator, it was a pane in the ash to retrieve.
16:31 Thu 14th Dec 2017
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Patsy33

Skint

I'm that skint, I've just opened a door on my advent calendar and a bailiff was stood there!
19:47 Wed 13th Dec 20172 answers, last by Patsy33 21:12 Wed 13th Dec 2017
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Patsy33

Librarian

What did the librarian say when the books were in a mess? We ought to be ashamed of ourshelves!
18:06 Sun 10th Dec 2017
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Patsy33

My Mate

My mate told me a fish jumped out of the sea and slapped him in the face, that's got to be codswallop!...
18:44 Sat 09th Dec 201711 answers, last by Shaglene 10:37 Sun 10th Dec 2017
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Patsy33

The Man

The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He'll now be known as the Lord of the Flies....
18:10 Fri 24th Nov 20174 answers, last by Shaglene 12:16 Sat 25th Nov 2017
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Patsy33

Madonna

Madonna at an African florists: "I'd like some flowers please", "Orchids?", "no, just the flowers thanks"....
16:33 Thu 23rd Nov 20174 answers, last by Patsy33 17:29 Thu 23rd Nov 2017
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Patsy33

Bran Teaser

Going from the BBC to ITV, for instance? (7,4) I?A?I?L ?A?E One the music publisher won't let slip through his fingers? (6,4) C????? ????...
22:28 Wed 22nd Nov 201751 answers, last by dannyk13 13:32 Thu 23rd Nov 2017
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Patsy33

Ukelele

I'm thinking of learning to play the ukelele. Does any ABers play it and did you find it easy to pick up?
20:17 Wed 22nd Nov 201718 answers, last by marval 22:33 Wed 22nd Nov 2017
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Patsy33

What Message..

What message did Bach have on his answering machine? "This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."...
16:19 Wed 22nd Nov 201711 answers, last by marval 18:07 Thu 23rd Nov 2017

981 to 1000 of 1971

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