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Patsy33

1221 to 1240 of 1972

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Patsy33

Perfect Lawn.

My lawn is chicken proof. It's impeckable....
19:01 Tue 04th Jul 20175 answers, last by marval 22:01 Wed 05th Jul 2017
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Patsy33

Chess Set..

After eating a chess set, I took it back to the shop to complain. I said to shopkeeper, "It's stale mate!" "Don't be so silly" says shopkeeper. I said, "Check mate!"......
11:27 Tue 04th Jul 201711 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 04:53 Wed 05th Jul 2017
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Patsy33

The Grim Reaper..

The Grim Reaper came for me last night but, I managed to beat him off with the vacuum cleaner... Talk about Dyson with death....
16:50 Sun 02nd Jul 20174 answers, last by Patsy33 20:02 Sun 02nd Jul 2017
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Patsy33

My Wife..

My wife is leaving me to live with her mother. She says I'm obsessed with every creature you could think of. Even though I'm sad, I said, 'Alpaca your bag, and let minnow when you get there"...
16:02 Fri 30th Jun 20177 answers, last by Patsy33 22:04 Fri 30th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Lower Back Pain

When I got off chair earlier, bottom of back felt stiff, strained and painful. Difficult to bend down. Think I've caught what you had Alba! Any advice?..
08:42 Thu 29th Jun 20178 answers, last by Patsy33 09:53 Thu 29th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Paint Work.

A friend of ours painted hall and landing, using a matt finish in magnolia. The thing is, I wanted him to do it in silver finish as it cleans easier. He persuaded me that matt would look better as it...
18:12 Wed 28th Jun 201731 answers, last by jennyjoan 11:23 Fri 30th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Hopscotch

I don't mind kids playing hopscotch in most places, but my driveway is where I draw the line.
15:44 Wed 28th Jun 20171 answer, last by zebo 18:33 Wed 28th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

I Have..

I have sexdaily....
11:16 Wed 28th Jun 201720 answers, last by Arksided 13:47 Thu 29th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Just Bought...

I just bought a load of cheap Harry Potter dvds. Only quidditch!......
20:12 Mon 26th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Two Pigeons.

One pigeon says to the other, "You still working at that lab, delivering urine samples?" Other says, "No, I got promoted. Now, I'm the stool pigeon".......
09:36 Mon 26th Jun 20172 answers, last by marval 17:14 Mon 26th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Frightened.

When I was little, I used to be frightened of the dark. Now when my electric bill arrives, I'm frightened of the light..
11:24 Sun 25th Jun 201713 answers, last by Patsy33 17:29 Tue 27th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

God Said..

And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster....
12:01 Sat 24th Jun 20173 answers, last by Patsy33 17:37 Tue 27th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Job.

I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It's shift work....
16:26 Fri 23rd Jun 20174 answers, last by Patsy33 12:19 Sat 24th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Cheese And Wine

My wife and I went to a cheese and wine party. We had a bit of a falling out. She was so angry, she threw a block of cheese at me. I said, "Oh, that was mature..."...
22:42 Thu 22nd Jun 201711 answers, last by marval 17:22 Fri 23rd Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Chinese Friends

My two friends from China are staying on holiday with us. Boi Ling and Scor Ching can't get over how hot it's been. ...
10:36 Tue 20th Jun 20173 answers, last by Bazile 23:43 Tue 20th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Compensation?

Have you been hit with a rhythm stick? You could be entitled to compensation with a personal Ian Duty claim.
08:51 Tue 20th Jun 201711 answers, last by Patsy33 10:27 Tue 20th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

I Bought..

I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said "Thanks" I said "Don't mention it"...
19:53 Mon 19th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Behind Her Eyes

What a cleverly written, easy to read, dark thriller, with great twists at the end. Difficult to put down once started reading. Highly recommended if you like this sort of book. In fact Stephen King...
12:07 Mon 19th Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Sticky Thighs Ladies?

I've been wearing a floaty dress for last couple of days to keep cool. The only problem is, my inner thighs rub together a bit which gives me mad! Especially in this hot sweaty weather. So here's the...
11:29 Mon 19th Jun 2017101 answers, last by whiskeryron 13:05 Fri 23rd Jun 2017
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Patsy33

Weighty Matter..

I seem to have piled on the pounds recently. I don't know where it's all come from. A friend said it's probably stress. Well, I have had a lot on my plate lately....
10:11 Mon 19th Jun 20172 answers, last by Patsy33 15:10 Mon 19th Jun 2017

1221 to 1240 of 1972

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