Donate SIGN UP

Patsy33

15961 to 15980 of 16879

First Previous 796 797 798 799 800 801 802 Next Last

Avatar Image
Dreamsandlove

Parents How Do You Put A Sleep Fighter To Bed?

Friends child needs a sling to be rocked to sleep...then once she's asleep? You literally need to sit down and hold her for 2 hours so she sleeps. Any movements such as trying to put her in her...
04:08 Fri 15th Jul 201617 answers, last by ladyalex 15:00 Fri 15th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
Patsy33

Cryptic

Confusion, as roofer and soldier in Asia discover author. (6,8)
22:05 Thu 14th Jul 20165 answers, last by scorpiojo 10:03 Fri 15th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
retrocop

Spot The Wild Mushrooms

She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them. Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild...
07:09 Fri 15th Jul 20164 answers, last by david small 18:23 Fri 15th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
retrocop

Teresa May

HMQ was delighted to accept Teresa May ,today ,to ask permission to form a new government. Mrs May informed Her Majesty that her first pledge was to Ban pre-shredded Cheese in packets. She intended to...
20:51 Wed 13th Jul 201614 answers, last by Chipchopper 15:37 Thu 14th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
retrocop

Five (Fumf) Germans (Herrenvolk)

Subject: Fw: Fwd: FIVE GERMANS Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them "It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro." "Vot...
22:35 Wed 13th Jul 201610 answers, last by Chipchopper 15:33 Thu 14th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
Chipchopper

Skinny Fool

I saw a Hipster in a waiting room at the local A & E. The nurse asked him what had happened ? He replied (with great difficulty) that he had burnt his tongue by drinking his coffee, before it was...
09:21 Thu 14th Jul 20164 answers, last by Sipowicz 10:14 Thu 14th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
mallyh

Our Day

it's our 43rd anniversary today hoping to go for a nice meal xx...
06:12 Thu 14th Jul 201629 answers, last by 1ozzy 06:25 Fri 15th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
jennyjoan

Teresa May

Teresa May's husband - is it Woody Allen LOL
22:13 Wed 13th Jul 20164 answers, last by bhg481 09:12 Thu 14th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
sunny-dave

Paul Mccartney ....

... has let himself go a bit. Will no-one give the old boy a quid for the leccy meter? http://oi63.tinypic.com/svtjy1.jpg...
21:24 Wed 13th Jul 20169 answers, last by gness 21:53 Wed 13th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
Patsy33

Which One To Marry?

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet...
22:29 Tue 12th Jul 201612 answers, last by Capeman 08:04 Fri 15th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
sp1814

Your Verdict On Cameron As Pm

What do you think about his Premiership? I would rate him 7/10. To me, he was what I call 'a good Tory'. Genuinely felt sorry for him the day after the Referendum. I'm personally happy that Tezza May...
13:26 Wed 13th Jul 201646 answers, last by Jackdaw33 15:35 Thu 14th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
Duncer

Dm Wednesday

Plain in gulf liable to flood (3,5) L?W, ?Y?N? Low lying fits nicely, but how does this parse?...
14:30 Wed 13th Jul 20166 answers, last by Duncer 14:34 Wed 13th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
maggiebee

Chicks

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So...
08:36 Wed 13th Jul 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 11:23 Wed 13th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
gness

Happy Birthday, Dannyk13

Happy Birthday, Danny....hope you have a lovely day.... Best wishes.....Ann....
23:08 Tue 12th Jul 201643 answers, last by dannyk13 07:10 Thu 14th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
ordbrae

Daily Crossword

5d Payment in coins rationed unexpectedly (13)????i?e?a???? consideration? 11d Only day for wise man (7)?o?o?o? 19a Sponsor two little boys (6) ????i? 22a Grass snake,perhaps (5)?n???...
10:15 Wed 13th Jul 201612 answers, last by ordbrae 10:33 Wed 13th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
mikey4444

Armed Robber Ignored By Kebab Shop Owner

This has been tickling me all morning ! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/36776087 Brave man though !...
08:14 Wed 13th Jul 20169 answers, last by CrapAtCryptics 15:54 Wed 13th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
sue11

Insult Or Not? And What To Do Next Time?

Hello all, our neighbours recently invited us round for a meal, this was the second time in quick succession and to try to help with costs and as a thank you I offered by a text message to make the...
15:11 Tue 12th Jul 201652 answers, last by Patsy33 18:57 Tue 12th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

A Little Birdie Told Me

Do you know someone who seems to know everything? When asked why, they say, "A little birdie told me." Did you know they probably aren't lying? It is a little known fact that there are little birds...
17:07 Tue 12th Jul 20162 answers, last by whiskeryron 18:35 Tue 12th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
Arksided

What's The Difference...

...Between Andy Murray and a corpse... With a corpse at least you know they'll be a wake....
00:40 Tue 12th Jul 201621 answers, last by Arksided 02:39 Wed 03rd Aug 2016
Avatar Image
Patsy33

Little Worker.

I had an unemployed dwarf do a few jobs for me. He asked if he could be payed under the table...
12:16 Mon 11th Jul 20165 answers, last by Patsy33 23:05 Mon 11th Jul 2016

15961 to 15980 of 16879

First Previous 796 797 798 799 800 801 802 Next Last