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tonyav

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tonyav

a shrink

was doing a therapy session with 4 young mums and their small kids. you all have obsessions'' he observed. to the 1st mum he said you are obesessed with food you even named your child candy'' to the...
16:25 Thu 29th Jan 20091 answer, last by sleepyj 16:27 Thu 29th Jan 2009
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tonyav

pharmacy notification !!!

with immediate effect viagra will only be able to be sold under its chemical name, if needed please ask for mycoxaflopin. thank you.
16:02 Thu 29th Jan 20091 answer, last by richardjhoop 17:40 Sun 01st Feb 2009
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tonyav

husband always insisted on making love

in the dark. after 5 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator she goes balistic. you impontent b@stard ! how could you lie to me all these years ? husband looks her straight in the...
15:30 Sun 18th Jan 2009
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tonyav

an irish daughter

says my hands are freezing cold''. her mum replies'' put them between your legs'' so she does and warms them up. next day she's out with her boyfriend. he says 'my hands are freezing'' so she says'...
15:19 Sun 18th Jan 20092 answers, last by zzxxee 15:22 Sun 18th Jan 2009
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tonyav

snowing again

well it's snowing again here in walsall, west mids. is it snowing where you are ?.
11:03 Wed 07th Jan 200919 answers, last by tigerlily11 13:00 Wed 07th Jan 2009
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tonyav

little april

was asleep in class the teacher decided to try to catch her out and asks ' tell me april who created the universe ?, when april didnt stir, her friend little johnny jabbed her in the back with a pen,...
09:52 Tue 23rd Dec 20081 answer, last by keithlbw 00:55 Wed 24th Dec 2008
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tonyav

12 days of chavmas

on the 12th day of chavmas my true chav gave to me 12 hooded jumpers 11 tags with asbo's 10 marlboro lights 9 sub woofers 8 pound voucher for jd sports 7 mates with acne 6 pregnant girlfriends 5...
09:32 Tue 23rd Dec 20084 answers, last by badcompany 20:10 Thu 25th Dec 2008
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tonyav

shortest day

well today 21st dec is the shortest day for daylight hours so after today it will start to stay lighter later by a few minutes every day, hooray ! .
08:49 Sun 21st Dec 200810 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 11:18 Sun 21st Dec 2008
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tonyav

fella

fancies a girl in his office but she has a boyfriend. he approaches her anyway and offers ?1000 if she'll have sex with him. '' i'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and i'll be finished by...
16:27 Sat 20th Dec 20082 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 11:25 Sun 21st Dec 2008
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tonyav

paddy

drags a huge box to antiques roadshow in dublin and queues up to see an expert, '' where did you get this ? '' asks the bloke behind the desk. '' it's been in my loft for 40 years '' replies paddy ''...
16:12 Sat 20th Dec 2008
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tonyav

raj

was tryingto get into the uk legally. the officer said '' you have to pass a test to enter and have to make a sentence using the words yellow, pink and green. raj replied '' de telephone goes ' green...
09:20 Fri 19th Dec 20083 answers, last by denis567 22:03 Fri 19th Dec 2008
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tonyav

just bought

my epileptic mate a stobe light for christmas. he'll have a f@cking fit when he see's it.
09:09 Fri 19th Dec 20086 answers, last by ll_billym 21:00 Sat 20th Dec 2008
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tonyav

scouser's

what does a scouse girl use as protection during sex ? a bus shelter. what do you call a 30 year old scouse girl ? granny. what do you call a scouse girl in a white track suit ? the bride. whats the...
08:56 Fri 19th Dec 200812 answers, last by LittleStar12 23:55 Tue 23rd Dec 2008
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tonyav

wife

man sitting reading paper when wife hit him across the head. he said, '' what's that for ? '' she said, '' i've found a piece of paper in your pocket with ' mary ellen ' on it ! '' quick as a flash he...
07:23 Thu 18th Dec 20083 answers, last by Mr-Marvel 23:38 Thu 18th Dec 2008
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tonyav

waxing

glasgow man see's job advertised as a f@nny waxer's assistant. job includes ' remove ladies knickers, prepare f@nny for waxing & then rub in oil after waxing' . man asks about job at job centre & is...
15:19 Wed 17th Dec 20084 answers, last by joggerjayne 23:42 Thu 18th Dec 2008
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tonyav

mates

two mates having a drink. one say's '' if i went to your house while you were at work, sh@gged your wife and she got pregnant would that mke us related ? ' mate replies......... ' dunno about related...
08:44 Tue 16th Dec 20082 answers, last by sleepyj 15:58 Tue 16th Dec 2008
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tonyav

chinese

man picks up a chinese girl at a disco and takes her home to his place. she say's '' me so horny, me do anythin for you ! ''. he say's '' how about a 69 ? '' she say's '' you f@ck off, me no cookin...
08:49 Mon 15th Dec 20081 answer, last by Mr-Marvel 21:08 Mon 15th Dec 2008
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tonyav

credit crunch ( married version )

husband and wife shopping in tesco's when man picks up a crate of stella & sticks it in the trolley. '' what do you think your doing ? , asks wife '' there on offer, ?10 for 24 cans'' , he says '' put...
21:52 Sat 13th Dec 20081 answer, last by Mr-Marvel 21:57 Sat 13th Dec 2008
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tonyav

farmer

a farmer has successfully grown a field of vibrators. unfortunately he now has a problem with squatters.
21:35 Sat 13th Dec 2008
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tonyav

terrorists

police in liverpool have arrested 3 of 4 well known scouse islamic terrorists: bin snortin, bin dealin and bin thievin. there was no sign of bin workin.
15:14 Thu 11th Dec 2008

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