Can I get Caution for Common Assault removed

[Hiddenhurt]

I have been living with a Caution for common assault for several years. My partner simply cut contact when I found out I was pregnant. ( baby planned by him) I did not get my head around that he said how much he loved me and then suddenly to stop taking my calls. I called him maybe once a day and texted twice a day and then I realised he obviously didn't want to be with me, but since he was an abusive and controlling man I had not told anyone i was back with him and there I was pregnant and no one knowing I had gone back to this guy. I asked him to tell me what part he wanted in the babies life if he did not want to be with me. He finally texted and told me to come to his house on a set date and time. I asked if I had to because i was feeling so tired. No reply - so I turned up as agreed. he drove right past me went in the house and shut the door. I knocked on the door and he let me in. But then walked away. I stayed in the conservatory as there was a very cold atmosphere - like the old days!!! I said what I wanted - he ignored me and went upstairs. I asked if he could just talk to me and I would go - no answer He took a shower and came down and then just stared at me like he hated my guts and said he didnot want to speak to me and I should get out.
Unfortunately I had done two things wrong 1. go in when he had behaved in the way he did. 2. Sit and wait for him to have the shower
But I was so desperate, I did not understand what was going on.. nothing had happened preceding this behaviour. So I said that he could not ignore that it was going on and I walked towards him. He gave me a shove, I fell over on the tiled floor. When I got up he had gone into the house. I am afraid I lost the plot completely and I slapped him about 4 times at the most. He stood there and coldly said " are you trying to give me a bloody nose?" I said no and left - very shaken. I am afraid I also apparently called him some names I would never normally use, but on reflection I don' t take them back. They were the truth!
Two weeks later I was called to the police station for a chat. When I got there, I was arrested. In shock I took the caution - after all I did slap him. But I too feel that it was metered out wrongly. The police did not look at the records to show how many times I had called frightened of this man, or that the man had been on two perpetrator programs of his own volition. They just took that circumstance and hammered me with it.
The result was that that then three weeks after this, the man took me to court. OMG. You might wonder why? Like I did. He aledged that I had been abusing him for four years and essentially used everything he learned in his perpetrator course and turned it on me. Luckily no account was given to his statement, because I would have fought it. But they just asked me not to contact him - I hadn't and so I would not. But the result was I was petrified to stay at my own home. I feared he would watch my home and make accusations about me. I had to carry a diary and log receipts as I was so afraid. In the end I fled my home, I changed my name and have stayed away. His baby is born, and as you can guess he tells his family he has no children as he nicely scared me so far away, that he can keep us his dirty secret. Too afraid to seek any maintenance as he will come after me in the same way he did then. I was just too stupid to realise he had planned it all.
Now too afraid to ever call the police. If this man comes for me again, I will flee again.
But who looks bad on the books now? Its me. I am desperate to get something done about it? I also am CRB checked, I used to volunteer and this man knew this and that it would cost me my job. The law failed- It has acheived nothing in this case except terrify me in a vulnerable state.
If I can, I would really like to have the thing removed, was not handled well. What do you think my chances are and how to do it?

[exdc]

Hello hiddenhurt

I am afraid if you admitted slapping your ex partner during formal police interviews without claiming a statutory defence such as self-defence then there are really no grounds to challenge the Caution.

I take it you told the police the same version of events as you have described in your post,

[Hiddenhurt]

I did indeed. But they were so disinterested in me and anything I had to say, I can't tell you. The Police woman was probably not a DV trained officer. She just kept asking if the way I walked towards the partner could have intimidated him? I said that he had never been intimidated by me. The records were on their system, but they showed no interest in looking at them or anything else. The other thing I forgot to mention was that when the ex went into the house and stood there calmly whilst I slapped him, he was quietly recording the whole thing - having conveniently not recorded him pushing me over - but you see... I realise I should not have got up and gone into the house after him. But surely its human nature when you are pushed and wound up. I feel like he just laid the trap and I jumped right in like the dim wit I am!

[SeaJayPea]

This may be of some interest. Seems that cautions are now regarded as 'spent' from the moment they are issued. If I understand it correctly, that means you have no criminal record.

Have a read of this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Police_caution

What do you think?

[Buenchico]

SeaJayPea:
When a conviction or caution becomes 'spent' it is not removed from a criminal record. It simply means that the offender is no longer required to declare it when applying for such things as insurance cover and for most types of employment.

All convictions and cautions must always be declared when applying for employment which is exempted from the provisions of the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act. (e.g. working with, or alongside, children or vulnerable adults). Further, all convictions and cautions (whether 'spent' or not) will always show up when a CRB check is carried out.

Up until October 2009 cautions COULD be removed from a person's record after 5 years but there was no compulsion upon police forces to actually do so. However a High Court ruling in that month now means that cautions remain on a person's record for life (or, if we're being really pedantic, to the person's 100th birthday).

Chris

[Hiddenhurt]

I'm a bit upset by the comment by red H and eddie. They are simply not correct views, but maybe I did not write my message correctly.
Essentially, if you are with someone and they planned a baby with you and then for absolutely no reason what so ever just stop speaking to you , no arguement or anything, it is somewhat hard then not to contact them. I don't think that is stalking it is looking for an answer, as soon as I got that answer when I went over to see him at his request. I never made any contact since. That can't surely be considered stalking?

If it is, then I am. but I am not emotionally wanten. Or needing psyciatric help. To say so, shows how little you know about DV. DV functions on hooking a partner in, they become emotionally attached, then the abuse begins. I truely wanted to beleive that he had changed and only got back with him after he was on the perpetrator program. That was my biggest mistake.
Beyond that, if I were a what you say I am, I would not have run away from my home and tried to get out of his way, I would even leave the country if he came after me, that is absolutely not the behaviour of a stalker.

[Hiddenhurt]

Thank you so much Exdc, seajay P, and Buenchico.
Sounds like I may have to live with it. I was thinking about a judicial review just to have it removed from my records. Again, I could stand by what I did and explain the reasons behind it. Maybe that might be the right course of action?

[exdc]

Hi hiddenhurt

I understand your frustrations regarding the Caution, however, the 'reasons behind it' as you have described amount to mitigation and not a defence to unlawful assault. By all means speak to your local constabulary but please do not be disappointed if they refuse to remove the formal record of the caution etc.

Also, do not let this experience put you off calling from calling the police in the future.

[exdc]

" off calling from calling"

Grr, You know what I mean.

[cherryblossom38]

Holy macaroni......wow i thought it was just me.....yr letter had me ticking with a large pen YES YES YES. I an feeling dissalusioned...pls if u get chance...read my story........i'm sorry this is so short but i am so mentally shattered....but will send longer reply later.....Cherry x