Help In English Please

[Fatemah]

Hello,
Before posting, first, I want to say sorry if I look so demanding.

As most of you know I'm struggling with my student visa, I'm writing a letter to the embassy and explaining to them about my course and how my work experience is helpful in my studies. I wrote a few sentences and I uploaded my document in google doc ( link is below). I want you to please proofread this, and I request you to don't post the answers here, try to update the document ( it is an editable document), because if you will post your answer here it can make an issue of palagarised documents. I hope 'i'm not too demanding and thank you in advance.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oLBprtwmP4d3O1Lwf5pr6LZTxrgk2drmZOK3XIoYAf8/edit?usp=sharing

[Buenchico]

That link's opening as a blank document for me, Fatemah.

Sorry!