relationship break up

[jrobinson200]

im 24 and hae been with my boyfriend since we were15. we hav been having minor problems for i would say 2 years, and major problems the past year. we have mentiuoned splitting up a few times over the past few months and in the last hour have split up. i dont think he has taken it seriously tho as there was no eomtion from him whatsoever, whereas i feel heartbroekn. part of me feel sthis is for the best and i will ne happier in the long run, but part oif me just wants a bug hug off him. he didnt trust me one biut and i havent been out to a club for years. we dont live togeteher so thats not a problem. i know now he will be texting or calling in the next few days adnd i need to deicde if i am going to stay strong and tel him it is still over or if i am going to get back with him.
last time we 'split' i felt awful and we got bakc together the next day, which felt nice. but the problems didnt go away

[albaqwerty]

if the problems haven't gone away, then they will come back.. A whole lot of growing-up has happened between 15-24. For both of you. Have a break for 6 months then see how you both feel.

[jrobinson200]

i know that makes sense. so hard to be strong tho. but who knows, mayeb he wont even contact me. i wish someone could decide for me!

[albaqwerty]

that's life tho jr, I'm sorry to say. Only you can decide tho. It's never easy but if you don't get back together, but whoever you next get along with (maybe married or living together) the break-up has helped you to make you that person whom you're other half has fallen in love with.
So thank the b/f for making you the person you are and go and enjoy life xx

[jrobinson200]

but all i can think is i wanted to marry him and have a family and grow old together. theres just bad things too. i guess i have to wait a few weeks but i know tomorro he will text me or call and we were supposed to be going to his nans tomorrow night to see her and il have to decide wether to back out of that or not o go and have a good time there with his family

[albaqwerty]

if he texts you, ignore it. If he calls, see how you feel after the conversation. No need to play happy families in front of his gran especially if it causes you pain. Can't you arrange to see your own friends or familly?

[sophie_1003]

aww jr, sorry that this has happened, I'm a bit sentimental when it comes to relationships that started when the people are in their teens as I'm in one and people always have lots of doubts about them lasting. However, in this case I would say if you've split up with him do it properly, don't see him or talk to him for a while (maybe arrange to meet up in a few months) and hopefully by then you'll have figured out if you want to be with him or just want a relationship in general.

[Mamyalynne]

Jr so sorry to hear of your plight, don`t rush into any big decisions yet. I wish you wisdom to think this through despite your youth, but if you do decide to reunite do not start thinking marriage and a family until you are sure all problems are resolved and you know this is for keeps. Take each step at a time and be strong.

Love
Mamya

[Prudie]

You seem lucky to me that you are fairly confident that he will text or call soon. I have had 2 major breakups in my life and i would have given my right arm for them to have got back in touch the next day. They never did and they never came back. If going to his nan's tmrw is an option then yuo haven't really broken up.

[TTG]

Too complicated....move on...plenty more fish in the sea.

Not that you'd want to get into the 'halibut' of dating fish........sorry.

[Androcles]

It takes three weeks to break a habit, which it sounds as if you have become. Don't see him or communicate with him for that time and then see how you feel.....

[sara3]

okay, let's say you get back together. in 2 years time, when you're still pretty much in the same situation, would you say "that's been a good 2 years" or "I should have got out of this 2 years ago"?

[karenmac60]

If he didn't trust you then he didn't really love you - you can't have one without the other and you deserve better than that. My ex and I were together from 16 to 26 and he never trusted me either for no reason. I ended up giving him reasons (I decided I may as well since I was being accused anyway) but it made me hate myself and I ended up leaving. We had done the whole marriage baby thing and 11 years later he's still on my back all the time. If I'd walked before I did then I could've made a clean break from him. It didn't stop me missing him and thinking about trying again many times, but I'm so glad I didn't cos nothing would ever have changed. I know he's ruined other relationships since because of his jealousy. You can move past this and find someone worthy of you, you just have to be strong.

[jrobinson200]

thanks so much for all your kind words. well i spent yesterday txting him as i felt so low and lonely, just saying cant belive it and im so sorry its come to this. he was blunt back to me, he went to his nans as everyone else had pulled out and i firmly said no theres no way im coming. he said he thinks we are doing the right thing. thewn he rang me about 5 this morning saying im a *** for keeping txting him cos its playing games and messing his mind up, which fair enough i shouldnt have tet him or contacted him. so he was like it would be easier if we hated each other thats why imbeing nasty. i said ill never hate you, ill always love you but we dont make each other happy anymolre. so hes being a complete dick. we left it on the phone, then i went out today just shopping, which i would normally let him know im doing and i didnt cos i want him to know its certainly over.
itxt him before at a low point saying r u ok, and all i got back was, why did you send that. hes horrible. just wait till it hits him in a weeks time when im moving on that it is actually it. ii dont know. never expected it to turn out this way.
so im young free and single on the 1st jan 2010!

[sophie_1003]

Aww glad you made a definitie decision jr and Happy New Year! I think blokes are like that, he doesn't want to say that he's sad the relationship's over so he'd rather just get angry, just leave him to it and in the future when the feelings aren't so raw you might be able to be friends, or at least civil with each other! Best wishes for 2010!