What am I entitled to?

[elnonajo]

Hi all, sensible advice would be greatly appreciated.
I am a south african who married a british citizen 8 years ago. we have 2 young children. Things have taken a down turn just recently and I am seriously considering seperating or even divorcing my husband....he has just become impossible to live with and although I do love him he does not feel the same about me he is just going through the motions.
I would just like to know what I would be entitled to and what help I could get if I did decide to go. I have no family over here and few friends so I would be on my own. I own my own small business which is just about breaking even although I dont pay myself a wage. The house is in my husbands name but I am paying the mortgage, he pays the bills. I dont really want to move from the area because the children are settled in school and their family and the busuiness are nearby. I definately dont want to go back to South Africa, the children are British and I feel they should be brought up as such, I wouldn't want to take them away from their dad or his family either.
As I said, any advice would be great, I am just stuck at the mo and don't know where to go from here.......please help...

[bednobs]

Hi, can't he pay for somewhere for you and his children to live? do you anticipate the business will do better, or would it be best to cut your losses and get a job that actually pays you? Could the children live with him? is there any equity in the house? will you continue to pay the mortgage (BTW how do you do that if you don't get a wage?)
I'm only asking you all this because even if you are entitled to benefits, it won't be much

[dzug2]

Isn't the question about entitlement in a divorce settlement?

Can be read either way

[boxtops]

You need to seek legal advice straight away from a solicitor specialising in family matters, straight away, just to sound out your options - or go to somewhere like Relate, they are not only about keeping relationships together, they can advise people on splitting as well now. Are you now a British citizen?

[Carakeel]

I think it is fairly safe to say that if you did divorce, you would certainly end up with half of the house and any other assets. If the children stay with you, you may actually end up with the house until the youngest leaves full time education or reaches the age of 18. Not sure which. When my daughter and her husband divorced, she remained in the house until it was sold, then bought another one with the agreement being that should she sell this one, he will get £25,000 from the sale. You should get child benefit if the children stay with you, just like any British mother. If you are in doubt as to whether you will be allowed to stay in this country, phone your embassy and have a chat with them. I doubt very much that you would be chucked out after 8 years of being married to a Brit here and with 2 children with British passports. You could also go and see the Citizen's Advice Bureau. They won't charge you for advice and will give you someone to talk to who specialises in this kind of situation. Best wishes.

[elnonajo]

Hi, Thank you all so much for your help and advice I will certainly act on it.
My husband doesn't earn enough to pay for anywhere else, he refuses to get a full time job because of 'mental health issues' which he also does nothing about. He sat down and worked out the exact amount he needed to pay bills and then found a job that paid exactly that amount (?) As for him having the children...I do not believe that he is mentally stable enough (not just my opinion!) The mortgage payments are coming out of the business profit at the moment. The mortgage isn't a lot luckily and if the house was sold we would have a tidy profit but he refuses to sell, it was his grandparents house.
Thannk you again everyone for your help