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Fao Sloopy, Madmen And Her Fellow Somerset Abers.

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DTCwordfan | 23:05 Tue 12th Feb 2013 | Food & Drink
48 Answers
How to Make a Gr-gs' Somerset Pastie:

Shortcrust Pastry (you can use plain or wholemeal pastry)
Potato chipped/ flaked or cubed into small pieces
Swede also chipped flaked or cubed into small pieces
Skirt Horse a traditional Somerset or Romanian cut, or you can use Horse rump if you prefer....so delish in France with their expat population.
Salt and cracked black pepper
Quail Eggs to glaze

Preparation: Prepare your pastry the day before making the pasties and leave to rest in the fridge overnight (2lb of pastry should make 2 good Somerset pasties)

Chip/flake or cube your potato and swede and leave in some cool muddy water until you are ready to use (1lb potato and swede mixed). As it is a Greggs' imitation, add peas and carrots according to your (lack of) taste.

Chop your Horse meat into into chunks ( at least 1lb meat between the 2 pasties). Leg meat goes well with the addition of runner beans.

Chop your onion (1/2lb )

Mix your salt and pepper together; add some Shergar-accelerator powder and Red Rum at this point for additional flavour.

Making your pasty - Roll out your pastry into 8″ cquares on a floured surface, Somerset "poppy" seeds will add a certain "je ne sais quoi" to your dough.

Drain your potato and swede (and the rest of the shyte that you have added to this "pastie" and season with a table spoon of salt and pepper, a touch of local zuider-juice at this point.

When this has drained put a pile in the centre of the pastry square

Then put your meat on and season with oodles of Bridgewater Parrot River salt, MadMen Chilli (fabulous ingredients) and King Alfred burnt bits. Put the onion on next.

Then more potato and swede, add in the Greggs' look alike carruts and peas.

Dampen the edges with water or egg wash then pull the 2 sides together as if making a local condom.

From the left side (for right handers) or from the right (for left handers) just to confuse you so that you think you come from Wiltshire, pinch the pastry together and pull the pastry over your opposite finger and thumb, tucking under slightly as you go along.

Coat with egg glaze, and bake on silicone paper for 1 hour at 180 degrees C

Do not export south of the Devon border and definitely not over the Tamar as such non-pasties incur 200% duty. Humberside does offer a very favourable market as, though they have a wonderful spiced parsnip soup, their pasty tastes are still in the Dark Ages and may offer an improvement of what they think is the fabulous Greggs' Cornish Pastie, though there is some serious delusional behaviour going on here to what a real "Proper Job" Cornish Pasty is all about (note the spelling difference too).

I could say "Enjoy" but I will spare you that, as I hate being commanded to relish my food.

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LOOOOOLL!!!

Haha, very good Dt.

Couple of things made me lol then. The condom comment (although that was more of an 'ewwww') and the ' put your meat on'. I wasn't sure if this was supposed to make me laugh though... ;)

Nevertheless, excellent stuff. Traitor!
And wash down with a bottle of Luke warm pop followed by an iced yum yum for pud..!
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MadMen, One the shape, two - I hadn't realised the innuendo but it reads well!
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that, minty, ré a dessert is a deep-fried Mars Bar..........
You hadn't realised the innuendo? Lol. As if!!! ;)
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well it was a bit of a mouthful.
Ha ha ha! Dirty dog....
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Now a Dorset pastie, yeeeuck. (Use Findus lasagne mince.....)
Bleurgh... !
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(MadMen, you may have seen the ongoing "feud" (too strong a word) going on between the Humberside and Cornwal............l)
Eh?
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Somerset qualifies for a pastie (y), Humberside does not!
Oh, I see!! Lol :))
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It's been going on for a fair while and all a bit of leg-pulling!
Is this in the MOFC?
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(actually take out the carrots and peas, the local supplements, substitute chuck or rump in for the meat, 2lb pastry for 4 pasties and the crimping go right to right, or left to left down on the base and you have a great recipe for a really good Cornish pasty).
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all over the shop as sloopy loves Greggs Cornish Pasties, my bone of contention is that (i) it ain't a Cornish Pasty as it's not made here (ii) has the wrong ingredients (iii) doesn't even look like one should (iv) we now have regional protection - about time you folk got Cheddar protected!
But keep the horse meat? Lol
Lol @ Cheddar :D

What's it down there, is it Ivor something??
Question Author
our own cheeses...no cheddar! (probably just as well). What do you guys go at the neighbours between us for......just to ruffle up ratter!

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