what does christmas mean??

[mullein3]

what does christmas mean to you?? i am not religiouse so i never look at christmas as a religiouse celebration..by the time i have been round the shops being trampled on and queing for ages any christmas spirit has long gone!! its an expensive time as every day my grandsons list gets longer!! mr m will be working so its just another day to me..i go through the motions putting tree up decorations etc etc..i make cakes and puddings and send cards ..but when the great day arrives its a day of excess work for me and i am usually glad when its over..i allways think everything seems calm once xmas day has gone..i know that sounds weird but its an observation of mine..

[maggie01]

Last year we went on a Cruise to the Carribean and it was lovely!. I don't usually like Christmas as family differences stop you all being together. I enjoy the run up to Christmas at work though as I work with little ones, and I enjoy watching and helping them to make all their christmassy things. Then there's the Christmas play they put on. They do really well!. Last day of term is the Christmas party and of course Santa comes to see the children. When my mum was alive, we always went to Midnight Mass but it just doesn't seem the same now. Like you we will put up our tree. I make sure the lights are working and then I forget to put them on again. I suppose it's a hard time for a lot of people. Those that feel they have to have family round and sometimes that can be a bit stressfull and others that have no-one to share it with. It doesn't really bother me too much these days. I will cook Christmas lunch and hope theres something interesting on TV. Very relaxing!

[mullein3]

when i used to work on the psychic telephone lines..i used to try and work for 2 hours on xmas day..and all these lonely people would phone up saying they hadnt recieved a xmas card and had no one..so i used to take their address and send them one for the new year...it wouldnt bother me if no one sent me a card its amazing how people can dwell on something like a card and make themselves really unhappy..its just a day!!

[Andy008]

A criminal waste of money.

[mimififi]

Andy, I totally agree. For me, Christmas is a Religious time, but also just a time for my husband to be able to relax for several days and for us all to be together, I do love the christmas package, the fun, planning, sparkly things, the carols...I just love those, but the spend spend spend is just horrific. Every year you are supposed to somehow better the one before...I have five children and so christmas is a one big budget juggle. This year I am making gifts for nearly everyone. I have really thought about that person and often pray for them while I am making their gift, but I am making them to try to give something that is more personal and with a much greater sacrifice (that of time) than going down the highstreet and buying yet another thing they don't need.

In today's culture, nobody really needs anything. If you need something, generally you buy it there and then. Christmas today is about extras and often those extras are unwanted. It is just terrible really. I hate the comercialism of Christmas...

Rant over....Sorry about that folks...(I'm not really a scrooge)

[shaneystar]

I agree too. The hassle of it all is just too much It is not the same these days.You can have Christmas all year round these days in the way of food.Years ago we were satisfied with fewer things. We had lovely family Christmasses with a crate of beer and a sing song and board games and a chicken for lunch was a luxury.These days people stuff themselves full and flake out in front of the T.V..not that there is much on there these days.Or they are blotto and the whole event passes them by.It's not the same for me anymore although I go through the motions,tree,nice dinner table and so on.It's all so commercialised.Families are flung far and wide and as you get older members of ones family are no longer there and it's sad..We have a family do though this year as it is my brothers Golden Wedding and then we are off to Germany for a few days where it is not so chaotic and they still celebrate Christmas in a more civilised fashion.I shall still have to cook though as I can't expect my poor old M-I-L who is 87 to do it all ! Before you all shout ..what about Shane... he will be spending Christmas with my brother being spoilt ! I couldn't bear to put him in kennels.

[Loocfox]

I think we all feel the same really that we spend lots of money on things that we do not want.you bye some one a present they bye you a present so infact you have bought your self a present that probably you did not need .

I have started to stop byeing so much at christmas for my family i know it might sound mean but i think that Christmas has got all out of hand the only people benifitting from xmas is the shops. i try now to bye a bit more for there birthdays, i give them something at xmas but i have started to get shoe boxes from a friend that goes to our local church, you pick either to fill it for a girl or boy there is a list in it as to what sort of things to put in it, it is for a child normaly in a very poor country.

My family are happy, healthy, and compared to some have way too much myself included, so this year i will get an xtra box or 2 and fill it and hope that it gives a child lots of happiness, some might say charity begins at home but at christmas i think we should all start to think beyond our selfs and our wants.

[Gathorne]

I'm sorry you lot don't seem like you're going to enjoy Christmas because i love it. I know that it's got commercialised, but it's up to you how far you let it go. You have to decide how much you can afford to spend, but I think it's worth saving up for because you're buying people treats they probably wouldn't buy themselves.

I love going to my parents for Christmas because the whole family get together and we spend hours over our Christmas dinner. This year is special because my partner and I are doing our first family Christmas on our own with our children when we'll be making our own customs. Our eldest is learning about how it's Jesus' birthday which is why we swap presents, and has started singing carols which always make me cry. Add Father Christmas, tinsel and fairies onto that and I'm in heaven.

I say stop moaning and make it what you want it to be, and God bless us everyone!!

[smudge]

Well I was starting to feel guilty reading some of these, as I've just posted a question on CB asking what people are buying their other halves for Christmas!

I have to agree with an awful lot of what's been said, although I do share Gathorne's sentiments too. I know the preparations & lead up to Christmas can be very tiring, but once the doorbell goes & one by one, our two daughters, son-in-laws & grandchildren arrive - it's not long before that's behind us. My husband & daughters all muck in, which makes life a lot easier. I only wish we still had our parents with us to enjoy it too.

Perhaps I've got a romantic view of Christmas, but to all have the time to sit at the table together for a change, chatting & toasting all our loved ones - I think it's worth it.

P.S. I think the idea of putting gifts in a shoe box for underpriviledged children is a wonderful idea Loocfox.

[shaneystar]

I am not moaning at all gathorne..I just think people have lost what Christmas is all about.For some it is just an excuse to overeat ,get drunk and spend money they can ill afford.
As you get older and lose your loved ones Christmas brings a different meaning to different people.When my children were little I was the same..It's a magical time for them. I would far rather have my Mum ,Dad and sister round my table now than any expensive present. And of course I make it what I want it to be..I don't exactly sit there going ...Bah Humbug !! Otherwise I wouldn't bother to travel hundreds of miles to cook Christmas lunch for my Mother-in-Law.!!

[smudge]

You're absolutely right shaney - family are so important - much more than expensive presents & far too much food!

[maggie01]

I have to say I feel the same as Shaneystar. Christmas does loose some of the magic when your children grow up. We used to spend most Christmases with my parents even though we lived a fair distance away (not as far as Germany) My daughter prefers to stay at home with her children, which is fine as I don't really think its fair bringing children out of their homes just as Father Christmas has arrived. Also when I was a kid, I always had a board game for Christmas and the TV was never on on Christmas Day. Things have just changed so much these days. Thats why I love the build up to Christmas at work.

[shaneystar]

On a lighter note ..when my eldest son was about 14 months old we had the tree up and all the lights etc. and his little face was a picture.My brother was still in the police force then and he used to go around on the Lions Club float dressed up as Father Christmas.They used to visit the hospital.On the way back on Christmas morning he pulled the sleigh to halt outside our house and came in and of course our little'un was amazed by all this. My dear old Mum who was probably on her fourth glass of sherry wondered how I was able to afford a Father Christmas to visit our home on that day.After my brother had gone I asked her if she had recognised her own son and she laughed her socks off. She was convinced I had organised it all just for the day.She had sat there chatting away to him not realising who it really was.

[Loocfox]

Here again, I would just like to say to Gaythorne and others who still have small children at home that when the children grow up and fly the nest christmas is not the same,no doubt others feel the same, as you get older you see christmas different, you would have probably have lost some of your family close members like parents and it can be a very sad time. i am not saying that i do not enjoy xmas i do, but its all the needless spending and hearing of people getting into debt, that winds me up, i am only 53 but it seems that when i was young people used to enjoy them selfs with out all of the very expensive up to date latest toys or games that are out now. bring back jacko skates is what i say. well to all i hope have a very merry and out of debt christmas.

[tradey]

to me it means nothing apart from money money money,i used to enjoy it but not since my dad died 8yrs ago its just not the same.

[smudge]

What a lovely story shaney. My Mum would have reacted exactly the same bless her!

I know what you mean about losing your Dad tradey. I lost my Dad in '94 & Mum in '96 & things are never quite the same. But I'm sure they would want us to be happy, so try to think of the good times - she says eyes welling up!

[WendyS]

The blatant commercialism of Christmas completely spoils it for me, especially the moral obligation to buy expensive presents which nobody needs . We have now negotiated a "no presents" pact and will make a donation to a worthy cause like like buying a goat, cow or chickens for a poor African or Indian family, or saving an acre of rainforest in Equador through the World Land Trust. I prefer the thought that my spending ends up helping a worthy cause rather than being consigned to a charity shop or jumble sale.

[sunflower68]

I have to agree with Gathorn and Smudge here. I think you have to see beyond, above and below the commercialisation of Christmas and not get caught up in the big spend. That is not what Christmas is about. Each year I count myself extremely fortunate that I have a family who don't fight or bicker, so Christmas day is a joy. I have a young family and Mr Sunflower's family, of which he is not close, live in the USA so there is never a row over where we go. The build - up to it is lovely with nativity plays and exited kids. We don't overspend so my kids never expect too much.

[maggie01]

That was a lovely story Shaneystar. It reminded me of a few years ago at work, One of the little girls granddad was to be our Father Christmas. We sneaked him in the back door and he got changed ready to visit the children. We rang the bells and said that Santa had arrived. This little girl went up to get her present when her name was called and Santa asked her what she would like for Christmas. We usually invite the mums and Nan's etc to come in to watch this. When it was all over, she said to her nan "That's a shame granddad missed that!". She didn't recognise his voice. Sweet!

[copippin]

I agree with you loocfox,this year our daughter and her partner will be in Singapore on Christmas day but we will never-the-less enjoy the festive time in a different way --it will be less noisy!--- It is also her birthday two days before christmas so when she was very small the magic of christmas was of special significance for us all,saying that though,she is nearly 34 and still behaves like a big kid at christmas !!Also as you rightly point out,parents are no longer with us,so in many ways it is a time for reflection on christmas's past.

Let us wish for a happy and peaceful christmas however we choose to celebrate it ,and for my part,I look forward one day to sharing it with grand children who I am sure make christmas special for families everywhere.

[mullein3]

thanks for all the replys ..i do agree that small children should be in their own homes on xmas day..my daughter and grandchildren live 1 hour 20 minutes away..and i have told them to stay at home but they wont have it..even though mr m will have to go to work at 14.30 ..the daughter likes to come here to escape work..i.e...cooking and washing up...as she wont lift a finger to help anyone..her partner does a lot of her housework etc..as she has never changed..she does what she has too and no more!! my husband is a police officer and he wont be out dressed as santa he will be sorting out all the family domestics and fights as thats what happens on xmas day...still its mega money to work so thats okay..i also agree with smudge..xmas isnt the same anymore as we eat turkey every month we have had two turkeys in the last 6 weeks as they were on offer...when i was young turkey was atreat at xmas and shops closed early and it was more of a festive time..a lot of sentiment has gone..and i do agree that some people just use it as an excuse to drink and overeat..and run debt up..