My Old Teacher

[marval]

My old teacher was incredible at history. He knew the date of every battle, the wife of every king, the winner of every war. Shame he taught Biology.

A female police officer used a taser gun on me yesterday. She was stunning.

I am contemplating inventing a plane with no wings then selling it to British Airways. I know what you are thinking; it will never take off.

After being motionless for over a year, I finally moved for the first time today. I was ex-static.

I can agree with limited edition on the unreliability of Bonnie Tyler’s eBay items. I bought her Sat Nav and it just keep telling me to “turn around, bright eyes.”

I was calling the Bingo numbers last night. Some guy shouted “what was the last number?” “Sorry,” I replied “I don’t recall.”

I was at a party the other night and joined the queue for the fruit punch. Everybody was waiting their turn without any pushing in or impolite behaviour whatsoever. I thought, “Finally, a decent punchline.”

A man came up to me last night and said with a smile, “My friend wants a piece of you.” It wasn’t the best thing to hear at a cannibal party.

[Arksided]

Lol.. :-)

[jno]

two clowns are eating a cannibal. One looks up and says "I think we're getting this all wrong".

[JimF]

But first, unga-unga.