I know I shouldn't have done it but...

[hbandtr4eva]

Long story, will try to cut it short. Been with a guy for nearly 2 months, his 1st serious relationship, and he claims to be madly in love with me, I've been burnt before so I'm trying to be more careful this time round. But thing is, went away with my college for 10days with a load of friends, including a guy who I'm goodish friends with, helped me through a broken heart (corny but true). Just after he said goodbye to me, bf texted saying he'd realised how much he loves me, and he's gonna miss me so much.
Anyway, so was flirting with this friend of mine, and find out he's liked me for bout 2 years. Were increasingly flirty entire trip, and ended up kissing, yes we were tipsy, but we both knew what we were doing. I was down cos I hadn't heard from my boyfriend, and he was offering me some comfort.
For the rest of the holiday we were acting "coupley" just not around people because they know I'm taken, and now I'm home and still haven't heard a thing from my bf, even thou I've texted him a few times.
Thing is, the fling or whatever it was/is with this other guy has made me realise I'm with my bf for the wrong reasons - to make me feel better about myself after a horrible breakup.
I know I sound like a complete bitch, but I would never normally do this, and I still can't work out why I have. I know my bf deserves to know, and I know he deserves better than me, not someone who's been using him, even thou I do care about him, just not in the way he wants me to. I guess I'm just asking for opinions, by all means have a go at me - I deserve it, I just don't know what to do next.

[kate1976]

Tell your boyfriend it's over, if he hasn't been in touch with you then just text or call him and tell him it's not working out, he'll get over it!!

Staying with him for the wrong reasons will only cause more hurt down the line, get it over and done with!!

I'm sorry, that sounds really harsh but I don't know how best to put what I mean and I'm rushing round all over the place!!

[hbandtr4eva]

I know that's what I have to do. I just don't know how to. Guess I'm just too much of a coward to face up to what I've done. I can't justify it, and I wish I hadn't done it, but I don't regret it - I just regret that I was with someone else at the time. I know I don't sound like it, but I'm a good person normally - I would never do a thing like this and I don't know why I have.

[kate1976]

Stop beating yourself up over it, you made a mistake, you're human, it's what we do and we can't change what we've done so it's no good kicking yourself!

You just need to put the guy out of his misery, there's no easy way to do it but it needs to be done quick!

Good luck with it all and please stop your guilt, you can't change the past, learn from your mistakes and move on! xx

[ummmm]

Don't tell him what you did. He doesn't need to know that if you are going to finish the relationship anyway. You will just hurt him more. End the relationship, be honest with him about why (being with him for the wrong reasons etc.) just leave out the fact that you was snogging someone else.

It's a fairly new relationship....he will get over it quickly enough so don't worry.

[hbandtr4eva]

Thanks for your help guys, I appreciate it. And thanks for not judging me. I'll let you know what happens. Thanks again, xxx

[andy-hughes]

You are certainly not a bad person, it is obvious that you are sensitive, and you don;t want to hurt someone you care about, but who is not right for you.

When ever you start to care about anyone, there is pain at the end of it. That's a fact. You can;t avoid it, but you can reduce it. Give him the respect of finishing with him face to face, but don't tell him about thie other guy. he doesn;t need to know, and why make things worse for no good reason.

Yes he will be hurt, and so will you, but in the future he will come to see that you did what ytou did for good reasons, and that will help him to get over you.

As for yourself, don't be hard on yourself over this. You haven't hurt anyone on purpose, and you are doing your best to do the right thing for everyone involved, yourself included.

Take a deep breath, get it over with, and then look forward. You are obviously a good and caring soul, you deserve to be happy with the right person, and you will. This is not a nice experience, but it is a valuable one. You matter, a lot, so don't make yourself miserable under the illusion that doing so to make someone else happy is the right thing to do. It will always end in failure. Stop this failing relationship now, and give yourself some time to heal, and then see what else life has to offer you.

There is someone out there for you.

Promise.

[ReinaLuna]

Hi hband,
I'm not here to give you an answer because the ones given are good enough. I totally agree with the guys that you must end this relationship you have, and I know it's hard and you won't be able to avoid feeling bad... but later you will see it was worthy!
Just wanted to leave you a message basically to send my support and say that I'm thinking positive for you and to let us know of what have you decided to do!
Of course you are NOT a bad person, if you were, first of all, you wouldn't be posting here worried about your bf. And I can understand your fear of being judged here, it happens a lot, but like I always say, for 1 nasty person you will always have 20 nice ones, this is really a great website to share and clear our doubts.

Good luck :o)