Friends with Benefits

[China Doll]

Afternoon All,

Does anyone have or have they ever had a 'friend with benefits' or indeed FB as I believe they're also known?

Did you think this was a good arrangement or did it all end in tears?

How did you establish the arrangement? Did you hold interviews? Advertise?

Did it inevitably end up turning in to a relationship?

Cheers
China

[cheries]

Ah.
Yes I have a friend with benefits.
Been that way for 7 years. Although when I was married we clearly were friends without benefits.
He's probably my best friend and I love him so much, but would never settle down with him, because I know he finds it impossible to stay faithful to a partner.
He's funny, clever and gorgeous though, lovely to be around.
But strangely enough I've never gotten too involved with him; I mean I've never "fallen" for him but just love him like crazy as a friend.
Strange, huh?

[Pippa68]

I had a friend with benefits.

She was very handy for milk tokens when I was skint :o)

[SKA]

I don�t think I understand the question are you asking if we have ever used a friend because it would benefit us?
I have, there this �friend� I can�t stand but hey she had a car!

[China Doll]

A friend with benefits means a friend who you can also have sex with. Also known as an FB or a F*** Buddy.

Better?

[Goodsoulette]

I have had two friends with benefits in my life. The last one al ended in tears when he started playing games instead of telling me he wanted a relationship. We met on a night out after we had both spilt with long term partners and for a few months it worked.

The first was a work mate when I was in my teens. We came up with the arrangement after a night out, we actually chickened out of it about 3 or 4 times before we finally got there. Then it worked out until I moved to Oxford and he to Nottingham. We are still friends and I dont feel any jealousy over girlfriends or anything.

Im a bit of an emotionless soul though.

[4getmenot]

nope because no matter how you arrange one of them always feels a bit stronger than they let on. Even if they didnt I wouldnt do it anyway.

[Sasha13]

I've had a FWB.

Not a good arrangement - all ended in tears.

Established by spending time with him then him deciding he didn't want a relationship. Was quite happy to carry on the FWB arrangement for a while.

Didn't turn into a relationship.

Wouldn't do it again and have told blokes since that I won't sleep with them unless it's exclusive.

[SKA]

Oh lol sorry don�t know why I didn�t put that together myself - I dont friend are friends thats it!!

[legend758duo]

yes
yes


just happened
of course not.
silly idea.

ended suddenly

no

[China Doll]

But how did you come to the arrangement in the first place GS? Was it something discussed or did you just fall in to it?

[4getmenot]

you mean you didnt ask them out legend, what 1 ***** lol

[jackthehat]

1. Yes.

2. It was great whilst it lasted.

3. It just seemed to evolve.

4. Nope.

[Psychick]

Can I just say Im glad Im not the only one who didnt know what a friend with benefits was? lol

And no, Ive never had a friend with benefits. I like a complete relationship with everything that goes with the sex.

[4getmenot]

I;d say one night stands yer you can be frivilous and have a bit of fun as long as you're careful. But carrying it on with no love or meaning isnt my idea of fun and surely makes you feel worthless after a while

[China Doll]

But one night stands are risky and you might not enjoy them.

With an FB you know what you both like and there's none of those pesky awkward moments you can get after a one night stand.

[Goodsoulette]

errr the first one we just ended up snogging both knew we fancied each other but weren't right for a relationship. He actually said to me well you know we've always had a thing ( I did actually think, have we? but I kinda knew what he meant) and then it just went from there but getting over the weirdness of being that way with a friend and a workmate was difficult.

The second one was all my fault it ended rubbishly, because we met, he asked me out, I said yes it sort of progressed like a normal relationship but never got to the point where I was ready to call it one, which I was VERY clear about. The whole thing fell into booty calls only and it upset him. I handled it all really badly.

[China Doll]

I see... Never had one. Just curious.

[Skreecheeboy]

Always ends up with the bird greeting and becoming too attached. I've given up on that ploy thank you very much.

[Pippa68]

Never mind that, skreechee...I gave up having platonic friendships with blokes because they always fell in love with me.

[mormess]

Had a couple. The problem comes when you go on a night out and you expect to spend the night with them because that's what you've been doing, then either it doesn't happen, or you spend the night waiting for them, or you see them getting off with someone else. They think that because you're not in a relationship they can do that, but I think it's a bit rude.

I don't think these situations are ever "established". You spend time with a friend, you end up sleeping with them, then you have to make it clear what the situation is otherwise any imbalances in emotions can be painful.

Happily in a relationship now for six years with someone who has had to put up with hearing about my dating disasters before we finally got together! What a saint.