Sticking up for yourself

[karmgirl]

You know if someone sticks up for you but then someone says something to them another day and you think they want you to stick up for them back but you don't because you agree with the thing the other person said to them.

My colleague sticks up for me but I don't stick up for her back cus I agree with most of the things people say to her for example that her desk is messy and you can never find anything, I feel bad for not sticking up for her when she does for me, but then if I agree with the thing the person has said it would be silly to contradict myself by standing up for her.

Obviously if something someone said that was not true and was really hurtful to her I would stand up for her, but I feel like she might wonder why I don't stick up for her at other times, but its because I agree that her desk is messy etc.

[joggerjayne]

Tried to follow the post, but couldn't.

Sorry.

[karmgirl]

Sorry was a bit rambly lol :p

[karmgirl]

Just read it back was a bit rambly lol :p lol raggy

[cazzz1975]

well although you agree that her desk is indeed messy you could be more supportive of her, maybe she is not very tidy, it isnt illegal, could you help her sort herself out? most people sit on the fence because they dont want to get on the wrong side of the accusers and face a confrontation.

the people that befriend bullies the "cronies" are a good example of people that are too scared to get involved.

I would personally try to help the person and tell the people b!tching to concentrate on their own tasks, Im sure they are not perfect.

[joggerjayne]

Somebody has a messy desk ... I got that bit.

[karmgirl]

her mum (who is my boss) told her she was messy when she was looking for something and she couldn't find it.

I didn't stick up for her cus it would be easier if she just kept her desk tidy she wouldn't have this problem. Should I have stuck up for her?

[cazzz1975]

is that as bad as it gets karm, that her desk is messy?

[Bbbananas]

Vicky Pollard - oh how I laughed!!

You want to see a messy desk - you want to see mine. If anyone criticised me for it, I would just laugh it off. I know where things are - it's organised chaos and I like it. I wouldn't expect anyone to stick up for me over such an issue as a messy desk - if it is messy for all to see.

Life's too short.... ;-)

[karmgirl]

I know on the surface its not a big problem having a messy desk but what about her sticking up for me and me not for her when someone told her this. I don't get all the politics of life and work etc. I guess I take it too seriously but can't help it :S

[tigerlily11]

Well thats her mum saying that. It's not wise to come between mother and daughter during a set to.

[karmgirl]

Thats the problem with my work, colleagues mum (my boss) and the rest of their family are always airing their problems and issues with each other like a pantomime and then they look to me for reassurance but know its not best to get involved but thats all they ever talk about.

working for a family company has its perks but can also be a pain in the bum

[cazzz1975]

family business ..brrrrrgh, leave them to it..

[karmgirl]

okey dokey :D

[Bbbananas]

yup - you just do your job, be nice to everyone, stick up for them if you feel you ought - don't feel guilty if you don't or can't.

Don't worry, be happy.x

[ummmm]

How old are you?

She has a messy desk, if it's true someone is just stating a fact. She doesn't need you to stand up for her....

What have you done in order for her to have to stand up for you???

[karmgirl]

21

Well sometimes her mum will say a bit of an off comment to me and she will stick up to her for me