Someone needs cheering up.

[NoMercy]

Ummmm.... so sorry for what you've had to deal with lately. You need cheering up. xx

Anybody got any silly humour they wish to share? Has anybody done anything really silly lately and embarrassed themselves? Or such a short joke to share?

I got the munchies the other night after a couple of whiskies. I made a sandwich, but that's as much as I remember. I woke up the following morning with a sandwich lying by my face on the pillow, a single bite taken out of it. What a site to behold first thing in the morning !!

[Bbbananas]

I read that too quickly and read it as though you made a sandwich of munchies - you know those square chocolate & toffee things. I thought, well I've heard of some strange sarnies...but....

I can't drink whisky - it makes me wee myself.

[snags]

What was the sandwich filling?

[NoMercy]

The site of the partly eaten sandwich on the pillow nearly made me wee myself...

And you wouldn't believe some of the things I have put between two slices of bread...

[ummmm]

I wet myself the other day :-)

[Bbbananas]

Laughter, holding on too long, or crying ummm?

[NoMercy]

Vibra... my imagination is running wild now.... ;-)

[ummmm]

I was making a sauce for some pasta. I tasted it while it was reducing and a small bit of HOT onion hit the back of my throat. I nearly passed out......the coughing made me wet myself (not completely) No one came to my rescue :-(

[snags]

^ lol

[ummmm]

I went to the bathroom and my son told Ginge he should probably check on me. I told him to take the pan off the heat. When I came down he was standing there stirring a fekkin non existence sauce......It had reduced to nothing..!!!

I went mad...lol

[Bbbananas]

Oh-oh, stress incontinence. All you want now is urge incontinence and it's Kegel's exercises and Tena ladies for you my girl....

[Jan1957]

Packet of tena lady on the way to NoMercy and ummmm.

[Jan1957]

Oops, and salla in case she drinks whisky.

[Bbbananas]

Thanks Jan - I'm a bit strapped for cash at the mo, and have to resort to rolled up socks. Either that, or avoid the whisky & stick to the sloe gin.

[NoMercy]

Thanks Jan.... :-0

[ummmm]

It's tragic....they laughed at me.

I could have died....!!!!

[ummmm]

Oh...then I refused to change my bottoms :-)

Now try and feel me up.....

[snags]

''When I came down he was standing there stirring a fekkin non existence sauce......It had reduced to nothing''

Excellent anecdote... it has cheered me up...

[moonfruit]

Well im not sure exactly who ummmm has lost but here's a little poem that that was read at a funeral of a teacher that passed away through cancer, I hope we can all take something from it.

You can shed tears that she has gone,
Or you can smile that she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
Or your heart can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live for yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she has gone,
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty
And turn your back,
Or you can do what she'd want, smile,
Open your eyes, love and go on.

[pericat]

just wondering is the word 'fekkiin' used much over there ?