How Do You Get Over The Loss Of Your Baby.....

[PurpleParis]

Our border collie cross Jess would have been 12 in four weeks.....she's been fine...getting on but then who isn't.....went to bed with us last night....then at 2am she's scratching the bedroom door to get out.....she gets sick near the door.....i come down and let her out and she just prostrates herself on the patio....we took her to the emergency vet who said she had some sort of tumour that had leaked and there was all fluid around her heart....he could operate but that would only give us a few more weeks with her. So as she was struggling to breathe we had her put to sleep.....but how can i get over it....she was my little girl....she was so clever.....funny......loving. I actually ache as much as i did when my Mother died.....i'm lost.....

[Frank97]

So sorry to hear this PP, I wish I had an easy answer but I don't, it was 10 and 13 years ago when I lost my last 2 and I still miss them, it does get easier, but I know that's not much help!

[shihtzublue]

So sorry for your loss. I lost my lady two weeks ago and am having a bad day today. The tears just wont stop.
My little one had a heart condition but it has been reasonably kept under control for a year. She would have been 14 in Feb but I can't imagine how it must feel when they are taken so suddenly.
Just wanted you to know, I share your grief. xxx

[paddywak]

To be honest PP you never really get over the loss it's just that after a while you gradually forgret the pain of losing them and remember the happy times.We lost Max nearly two years ago and I still miss not having sleeping on my feet at night and though Trish rarely says it I know she misses not having him under her feet all the time.My first GSD was my first dog as opposed to being the family dog and he's been gone nearly twenty years and I still miss him as well,but Ive also got a lot of happy memories of the pair of them and I know that you'll be the same in a few months smiling when you think of some of the daft things he did.

[viv38]

When I lost my beautiful girl over 10 years ago now, I was utterly bereft. I spoke to anyone who would listen to me about her. I wrote about her to try and get the pain out of my system. I fell out with people who I felt didn't care enough. I walked around Liverpool once in a total daze, like a lost soul and another time I just sat on a bench for hours with people bustling about all around me and just thought about her and the great loss I felt. It took a long, long time for all that to ease and even now all these years on, I can still feel the raw pain of that period in my life. This, I feel, is the price of love. You may not feel as bad as I did, grief varies, but I'm still here and I have another dog who I love. I will never get over losing my beautiful girl though. A big hug for you Purple.

[Tilly2]

You will be lost. You'll be lost for a long time and you will cry for her every day. One day, though, you will think of her and smile and from then on it will get a little better each day.
At the moment you are devastated but you did what you could for her, at the end, because that was the best thing for her.

Best wishes to you and my sympathy for your great loss. Tilly xxx

[furrypusscat]

So sorry to hear your sad news. It is now 13 weeks since we lost our cat. We really miss him. I still cry everyday mostly in bed as he always slept with me. I know it will get better eventually but I am finding it difficult. I do remember the good times but always his final day comes back to haunt me. I know he wouldn't want me to be like this and everyone does say that it will get better as time goes on so I do hope you will also be able to just remember the better days.

[ummmm]

My cat had to be put down in September. I still can't bring myself to move his bowl.

[tiggerblue10]

Sorry to hear this Purple. You don't get over it but it does get easier after a time and once you've accepted it. I lost Tigger this time last year and cried for days.

[2sp_]

I'm so sorry to hear this. It's so hard to loose a pet, it's like loosing a member of the family.

I can't say anything to make you feel better, so I'll just send hugs. xx

[boingo]

I'm so sorry for your loss PurpleParis. It's been nearly 6 years since I had to have my cat put to sleep and I will never forget stroking her while she slipped away. She was two days away from her 19th Birthday. As everyone here has said very well already, it is something you never get over but eventually your thoughts are replaced with good, fun memories rather than the distressed feelings you have now.

[Zacs-Master]

Our BC is 10 purple and I just know it's going to break my heart when he goes. Just think of the good times and know that she had a very happy life with you.

[josaphine32]

I lost mine, she woke up and had a fit, she had a tumour in her upper intestestines the vet said, it had ruptured we put her to sleep, what you are feeling is normal and horrible, it took me a long time to get over it, big hugs, x

[jakep]

You will never get over it but time brings a calmer feeling and one day you will be able to smile at her memory.

[nungate]

I never have. I miss them all, from our first border collie when I was 7 years old, right up to when we lost our dear old Jess cat two years ago.
There are paw prints all over my heart.
I found this, it helped me

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep
Then you must do what must be done
For this last battle cannot be won
You will be sad, I understand
Don't let your grief then stay your hand
For this day more than all the rest
Your love for me must stand the test
We've had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer so
The time has come, please let me go
Take me where my need they'll tend
And stay with me till the end
Hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see
I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you do for me
Although my tail it's last has waved
From pain and suffering I've been saved
Please do not grieve it must be you
Who has this painful thing to do
We've been so close, we two these years
Don't let your heart hold back it's tears

N x

[paddywak]

That sums it up pretty well,nungate.

[Khandro]

I've lost several dearly loved pets, the best advice I ever had was to go and get another pet as soon as you can; perhaps another dog, but it must not be of a similar breed, or if so, of appearance, so that you will not try to make comparisons which would be impossible. It could also differ in kind (even better) i.e. a kitten. The love you have been giving to Jess needs an outlet, caring for the new life entering yours will help you through this difficult time.
Don't whatever you do, think you have done anything wrong, obviating her unnecessary suffering was the right thing to do.

[brenda]

I lost my little dog,Honey on Nov 4th this year and am finding very hard indeed to come to terms with the loss.She was my world, and I still expect her to greet me with an excited tail wag every time I come in the house.She was a rescue dog and had had a bad time before we met. My only consolation really is that I was able to give her a safe and happy life.
I know things will get better ,with time, and I can well understand how PurpleParis feels at the moment. Sincere condolences from me, and all the very best in the future.Brenda x

[lankeela]

It doesn't get any easier no matter how often it happens, but you should try to remember the good times and know she did not suffer for a long time as some people do. We spend more time with our pets than with most of our families, and there will always be people who don't understand but on here we are all in the same situation - we have either lost our pets or are going to have to make the decision at some point. Don't be afraid to grieve but try to remember her with a smile.

[PurpleParis]

I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words and support......two days on.....crying still...still aching for my girl....but have to go back to work tomorrow....people say 'get another dog'.....i understand why....but it feels disrespectful to Jess....my other half would get another dog tomorrow.....i just don't know what to do....it broke my heart taking her unused food to the rspca......hearing them all barking....stuck between a rock and a hard place.....thanks for the poem N....i am going to use it when we bury Jess' ashes...as it reflects exactly what happened....once again....thanks for all your support and kind words x