15 Reasons Why Some Men Have A Dog And No Wife.

[Gizmonster]

1. The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave things on the floor.
4. Dogs’ parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog. They’re ready to go, instantly, 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you interesting when you’re drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. Dogs won’t wake you up at night to ask: “If I died, would you get another dog?”
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and sell them.
11. When you drop a silent one, they enjoy the aroma and don’t run around frantically with room spray.
12. Dogs never tell you to stop scratching your balls. Instead, they sit pondering why you don’t lick them.
13. Dogs will let you put a studded collar on, without calling you a pervert.
14. If a dog smells another dog on you, it won’t kick you in the crotch. It just finds it interesting.
15. If a dog runs off and leaves you, it won’t take half your stuff.


To verify these statements, lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open the door, and observe who’s happy to see you !!!!

[venator]

I prefer cats - is that a problem?

[jomifl]

You need a wife to let you out occasionaly.

[mikey4444]

100% agree !

[Peter Pedant]

he didnt mention - taking your credit cards and maxing out on them

[Peter Pedant]

A dog never says 'does my bum look big in this ?'

[Peter Pedant]

a dog never washes let alone spend 30 mins taking a girlie shower

[mikey4444]

All so true PP...neither do they go through packs of toilet rolls at a rate of knots. And even if they did use toilet paper, the cheap stuff would do them every bit as well as the expensive ones.

I have thought of another few reasons :::

1. A dog sees no need to redecorate every two years.

2. Link to 1 above, dogs therefore rarely require to spend hours every Sunday in B+Q choosing wallpaper, and eventually buy the first one they saw.

3. Dogs see no needs for shoes of any king but if they did, they would settle for comfortable ones, rather than ones that looked nice to other dogs.

4. Dogs forget all about their mothers within about 48 hours of leaving them.

[mushroom25]

in an attempt to provide a balanced view, here's why some women have cats and no man about the house:-

1. a cat rarely misses the litter tray.
2. a cat won't leave the toilet seat up.
3. you don't have to pretend to like their (dead mouse) gifts.
4. you don't have to pretend to like their mother.
5. it's ok if they rub round your best friend.
6. they always come home sober.
7. they look after themselves when you're out.
8. they don't leave whiskers in the sink
9. they don't pretend to be able to fix things.
10. they mature as they grow older.
11. they clean themselves every day.
12. you don't mind if they sleep all day.
13. they enjoy leftover for dinner.
14. you have more chance training a cat.
there was a 15th, but it's not true.
(they don't hog the bed)

:-)

[mikey4444]

lol Mush !

[Clanad]

Some similarities and some differences:

Neither understand football.
Only one of them looks all that good in a fur coat.
Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.
Both constantly want back rubs.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
The wife leaves the room to pass gas...

[Gizmonster]

Some good answers there peeps :)
I can only select one best answer though .......