More Aussie Flight Announcements

[retrocop]

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: 'We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurised metal tube, we hope you'll think of Qantas.'







A plane was taking off from Mascot Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, 'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number XYZ, non-stop from Sydney to Auckland . The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - ARGHHH! OH, MY GOD!' Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'

A passenger in Economy said, 'That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!'


"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks are in the overhead area.
Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children....or other adults acting like children".

"As you exit the aircraft , make sure to gather up all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses"
___________________________________________________________