Gaming Addictions...

[ChocolatChip]

I have been reading online about gaming addictions, and I believe my boyfriend has one.
We have been together for about a year and half, and it makes life really difficult. He's had a lot of problems in the past, before when he lived down in london he suffered from depression, self-harmed and tried to commit suicide.
He said that I was his salvation, and I helped him recover from all this.
Now he lives with me and my family, he is 22 and unemployed (has been for about 2 months, he is desperately trying to find a job!)
But he spends about 12 hours a day on his Xbox 360. He refuses to go out, for walks, or shopping, or meals or just anything! And says he just doesn't want too. If he does go out, he whines and huffs and puffs. But obviously he just spends his time on the Xbox.
It's very fustrating, because I don't feel like I have any friends, and rely on my mum or auntie to come out with me. As I can't bear to be out alone, I have anxiety problems.
I adore him completely, and when his Xbox is broken (which seems to happen a fair bit) or we're away, he's really wonderful and kind and loving. You couldn't ask for a better partner. But I feel that the gaming is taking over his life, and I don't want to continue down this road, otherwise I don't think I spend the rest of my life with him, like I want to.
Is there such things as counsellors for gaming addictions, or how can I get him to realise whats happening.
I don't want to leave him.

[Octavius]

http://www.ehow.com/how_2067155_deal-partners- gaming-addiction.html

[mattie]

Unfortunately, a lot of computer and console games are designed for one person, and are not meant to played for a short time.

Maybe you could suggest investing in a Nintendo Wii, or two player games for the 360, so you could join in, and try and strike a balance - you do what he likes, and he could try and do what you like.

To look at the bigger picture, for any relationship to succeed you need to deal with problems while they are relatively small, or they will grow to the point where there is no going back.

[tigwig]

I know exactly what you mean ChocolatChip my hubby is constantly playing the Runescape online game. I have to fight to get on here!! Only joking about last part but he works full time and the second he comes home his priority is to turn on the computer and he only leaves it to briefly say hello to our daughter and for his tea! He will come off if I ask him to do something but generally speaking if he is in the house he will be on it. On an evening I watch tv alone and he plays his game. It really used to annoy me at first but now it has just become a way of life. I would just speak to your boyfriend calmly and tell him your worries, anyone who misses meals for the sake of a computer really does have a problem and how can he be committed to looking for a job when he is on the computer all day? You need to make it clear to him things have to change unless your relationship will be over. Make sure he pulls his weight!

[Octavius]

Sounds a bit selfish and immature tigwig. And you just accept it?

I wonder if he would do the same if you were online all the time.

[tigwig]

yes I agree Octavius it is very immature and he is selfish with it at times but he does get off if I ask him to! Its funny that over the last few weeks he hasn't been quite that bad but it has just become a way of life now and I suppose it works for us because I get to watch what I want on the tv and he is happy on the computer. Don't get me wrong he doesn't ignore our daughter or anything the main time he is on is the evening when she is in bed. Like I said it really used to bug me but since it started when his mum died last year I think he went on as a way to escape the real world and has become hooked since!

[socceroos11]

hello tigwig i just joined this site bout 5mins ago and i was wondering if you could tell me how i can post my own questions and not only answeres like this. And i agree very stongly with your statement that your husband plays rs witch is short for runescape because he wants to get away from the real world because of his mum passing away. I myself play runescape and i find it a very fun game to play because it lets you get away from the real world and say as an example ; you have a job that you dont really enjoy that much, but you have to do it to support your family so you get home after a long days work and you feel bored after your boring job (remember that this is only an example ime not trying to say that your husbands jobs boring lol) and you want to have some time to injoy your hobbie witch happenes to be runescape so you log on and you can be whoever you want to be and train the skills that you really couldnt in real life and achive your personal goals witch boots your self esteem and make you feel better after that long days work. so thats why he turns the comp on instantly when he gets home. i hope you minght understand abit more now i dont know if i helped but anyways gl m8.

[socceroos11]

oh yeh my username on runescape is:socceroos11. and could you please ask your husband what his username is so u can tell me and ill add him on my friends list. =D