A 'classic'

[Ray4yaR]

This has probably been played out a million times on here but...

I have been working with a lady in my workplace (floor above) on and off (very occasionally) for a year or so and it has been strictly business until recently when a fair few e-mails started flying back and forth (can't even remember how it started) and these were just random chats (not a lot of work in them) and a couple that seemed to be about work but lead pretty quickly into more chat.

This went on for a few weeks and there was no mention of partners etc until a colleague mentioned her partner and he has been mentioned a few times since. However, we have still e-mailed and I think we have quite a bit in common.

What is odd is that this has gone from a few lines occasional mail to a lot of e-mails (a whole day back and forth thing recently?!) and the couple of times recently we have met in person it has felt a bit odd (for me at least).

I would say overall the e-mails are positive and quite complimentary with lots of questions and have even included phone numbers (though this could have been used in a work context kind of) and she added me on Facebook etc.

So I guess my question is what is different now and is it just friendliness? It does not feel the same as with other women I'm friends with (I do not chat with them as regularly!).

Any views would be most appreciated.

[grasscarp]

As you are in a work situation I would be very cautious. Dont read too much into this and dont make any advances yourself. It is difficult to advise a complete stranger, but I sense that you are not really sure and it is better not to do something that you may regret. Years ago I took the decision to never mix business with pleasure, and 40 plus later I think it was a good one.

[andy-hughes]

There is a very simple rule when wondering if a lady is interested - if she is interested, she will let you know.

So look if the signs are there - not just if you would like them to be, but if she really is giving you signals.

Any doubt, and take it she is being friendly. Misreading signals caused embarassment all around, and it;s easily done - usually by men who are experts at seeing what they would like to see, not what is actually going on.

So take it a step at a time, watch her eyes, if she holds eye contact and smiles, she is interested.

Good luck.

[Ray4yaR]

Thank you fellas. i am naturally over cautious and if anything write signals off but an interesting point from Andy. She does hold eye contact and smiles, laughs etc and that's why it felt odd when I've met her in person - it just 'feels' different or i can be honest and say i get a bit of a nervous feeling..

[askyourgran]

Never mix business with pleasure, I've seen some real corking downers once the romance dies in an office environment. Stay friendly but in a crowd.

[grasscarp]

exactly ask your gran. I thought to myself do you want to walk into the office see past lovers? Noooooo

[Ray4yaR]

Thanks everyone for your comments so far. i know it's good advice to steer clear... i was just wondering what other people made of the sudden friendliness etc

[Messi_Ten]

You'll never get anywhere like this. Next time you meet, give her a kiss, it's what she wants and more. She's giving you the right signals, so go for it.

Forget about the work situation, if you're smart enough, no one will notice or care.

[Ray4yaR]

Very bold Messi_Ten! what about her boyfriend? haha

[Ray4yaR]

.

[joeluke]

Long-winded OP which was basically asking 'Does she want to have an affair with me?'

Sounds like that's what you want to happen Ray?