Donate SIGN UP

A clever farming joke!

Avatar Image
pillj123 | 07:40 Thu 01st Mar 2012 | Jokes
9 Answers
A farmer named Bill was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Scotland when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes..., RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" Bill looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves. "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bill He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car Then Bill says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not? "You're a Member of the European Parliament", says Bill "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that? "No guessing required." answered the farmer. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a flock of sheep... Now give me back my dog
Gravatar

Answers

1 to 9 of 9rss feed

Best Answer

No best answer has yet been selected by pillj123. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.

For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
Whats clever about rewording a very old blond joke?
Is this part of the Government's recycling scheme as this joke has been posted as a texan farmer and a welsh hill farmer, but still funny. lol
Question Author
well as I have never seen it before...I thought it was quite clever
There are about 10,000 video clips on wimp.com. Some of them are highly amusing and some are educational. I liked many of the clips featuring children and animals. It is possible to skip those of no interest by specifying "next". If you are on Facebook, you can put the ones you like best on your wall. If you like the site, please tell your family and friends.
I found it quite amusing pillj- never sure why people have to post just to let you know they've already heard it when clearly many of us haven't- still whatever keeps everyone happy:)
Question Author
Thank-you Nox...sometimes I feel like giving up...when all I am doing is getting told off!!
Keep at it Pillj123. For whatever reason, the ones who post negative comments, never post any jokes.....
Question Author
Thankyou, Sidkid...reasons to stay!! poo to the complainers!!xx
Worth reading it all for the punchline !

1 to 9 of 9rss feed

Do you know the answer?

A clever farming joke!

Answer Question >>

Related Questions

Sorry, we can't find any related questions. Try using the search bar at the top of the page to search for some keywords, or choose a topic and submit your own question.