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Gness and the cat`s bottom

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gness | 17:25 Wed 22nd Aug 2012 | ChatterBank
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Wendilla has just posted tonight`s spacestation sighting. I almost forgot last night...dashed out onto the patio and scared the life out of a cat sitting on the fence at the bottom of the garden. The noise it made as it fell scared the life out of me.
I recovered.....the cat didn`t.....it was screeching and yeowling. I got a torch and found it was stuck between a tree branch and the fence by it`s front legs with back legs flailing.
I could just reach but didn`t fancy the flying claws as it panicked so I fetched the garden brush.
All I could do was kneel in the freshly dug, wet mud and, with the bristle end of the brush, start ramming the cat`s arse. It was difficult to gauge the amount of thrust to give the brush....didn`t want said cat to go sailing across the gardens.
It took some doing but eventually the cat flew up, over the branch and down my back.
The noise had brought neighbours to their windows....god knows what they thought of the nut next door ramming a brush up a cat`s bottom.
Missed the spacestation.
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The RSPA are on their way! Just picturing that lol
Cats are small animals - with loud voices and big personalities. You did good - it would have been tempting to launch it into outer space.

You were wise to use the brush as I got bitten by my lady cat the other day when trying to get her claw out of the scratch pole for her. I am not sure whether I took too long before responding to her cry for help or if she just felt like biting me.
thinking about it - Frankie (boy in avatar) purrs very loudly if I scratch his lower back and his rump. Maybe the cat enjoyed the bristles on its butt and it will call again tonight. :-)
Remind me not to climb trees when gness is anywhere near - my bum is sore just thinking about it ...
When I was a child such problems were easily solved, especially in November, by the insertion of a penny banger up the cat's arse. Light blue touch paper and retire.
... and I'm not climbing Mike's tree either !!!
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Oh lord Wolf! My new hobby.....scratching visiting cat`s bums.

Do I get a one size fits all brush Dave or will Tony need an extra large one?
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Blast! I`ve got some big cake sparklers Mike. Could have used one of those.
You may get a bogof/multibuy deal gness ...
Does it necessarily have to be a cat, or do you do lonely men as well?
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The tree will be vacant tonight Mike. ;-)
I crying with laughter!
Oi wot ya mean an extra large one.
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So will Mike be tonight Firewatch. :-0
Pussy Galore in action.

Enter Tony or SunnyDave impersonating James Bond.
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Hi Tony. x
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Hi DT. I have the PG outfit.
I do hope that some serious person will be along to tell us all off for trivialising cruelty to cats.

Cats are like kids - most of the time you love them till you think that your heart will burst, the rest of the time you have to restrain yourself from throttling them. ;-)
And all because the lady loved Milk Tray
Hi ya gness and DT,mmmm gness in a PG outfit.

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