Would You Say Something?

[missprim]

I know this should probably be over in pets, but I would like a general opinion and not necessarily a dog lovers opinion.
One of my neighbours has two dogs. One is a lively little terrier she's had for a few years and the other is an old dog she's had from a pup.
Last time I saw her old dog I thought perhaps she was coming to the end of her life, but yesterday when I saw her I was shocked.
The poor dog seems to be three times fatter than when I last saw her,and her back legs just seem to have gone and she can hardly stand.
Her eyes look so sad and she almost looks blind.
When I mentioned to my friend that her dog wasn't looking too good, she agreed with me, but I couldn't bring myself to say perhaps it might be kinder to have her put to sleep.
Would you have said anything if you were me?

[murraymints]

not as such...would suggest visit to vet for check up....

[daffy654]

I would never suggest that someone put their pet to sleep unless I was absolutely sure the animal was suffering and that suffering could not be relieved any other way. I would ask her if she thinks the animal is suffering and would she like some help to investigate ways to help (if this was answered in the affirmative).

[woofgang]

I would have gently asked had she been unwell and what did the vet say but I would NOT have asked if she should be put to sleep, frankly as a pet owner if a neighbour, not a close friend said that to me they would be cruising for a smack.

[missprim]

I suggested this to her last year, offered to take her and the dog, made an appointment and at the last minute she called round to say she couldn't come as something else had come up.
To be honest I think she knows what the outcome would be and is avoiding it.

[LoftyLottie]

I wouldn't suggest putting any animal to sleep unless I was asked for advice. So I think you were wise not saying anything. If she has kept dogs and looked after them well, I think she will know herself when the right time comes.

[missprim]

Woofgang she is my friend and neighbour and as she is 81 yrs old I wouldn't be expecting a smack from her.
As I am not that age and don't have a dog, I'm trying to understand why someone would let a dog suffer like this.

[LoftyLottie]

Yes, I would suggest that you make the same offer to take her to the vets and perhaps suggest that the vet could help the dog to enjoy it's older years. Then the vet could perhaps give informed advice to her about the dog's quality of life. If your neighbour is elderly, then perhaps that dog is counted as a very dear friend and it is a very difficult decision for her.

[LoftyLottie]

Unfortunately, a lot of people just can't let their pets go, putting their own grief before the welfare of the pet. I can't understand it either. Perhaps a chat over a cup of tea.

[missprim]

LL I fully understand what you are saying , but as she is 81yrs old and suffering from dementia I'm not sure if she is fully aware of how her dog might be suffering and I really don't know what to do as I wouldn't want to see any animal suffering.

[woofgang]

Because the dog is a best friend and she cannot bear the thought of parting with it. I know it may not be what's best for the dog and its not something that I would ever do but many people find it too hard to decide to let the pet go before there is no other option.

[woofgang]

Is she getting support for the dementia?could you chat with her support person?

[LoftyLottie]

Could you have a word with a vet about your worries and the fact that the lady has dementia? They may have a suggestion on what you can do. Like you I hate to see any animal in distress.

[LoftyLottie]

Good idea from Woofy. Has the lady got any close family you can talk to about it?

[boxtops]

Does she have any family or carers who look after her affairs, if she has dementia? Perhaps you could have a word with them?

[Iluvspikey]

perhps she's worried about the cost. Could you contact the RSPCA for help?

[missprim]

Thanks boxy, that's a good idea as I know she has a daughter, it's just so difficult as I wouldn't want her to think I'm interfering and to be honest, you'd think her daughter would have said something to her.
What do I do, bury my head in the sand or just say something knowing the daughter might tell me to mind my own business?
If it was about a child, I wouldn't ask on here for advice, I would just do it if I thought a child was being mistreated or neglected but it's a dog and I have had no dealings with dogs myself so this is why I need advice.

[Prudie]

Does she live alone? If so her dementia might not be as severe as to suggest she'd ignore the dog suffering. How often do you see the dog? Does it go out for walks? Maybe inside it still shows lots of signs of enjoying life. I can well understand why people can't bear to take their pets for a stressful vet visit that ends in their death. A home visit would be best if she could afford it (which I doubt). To answer the question, if I knew her well enough then yes I'd ask about the dog's health but certainly not suggest anything further unless she was a close friend.

[tamborine]

I would tell her to release the dog from its suffering

[NOX]

To be honest it's her dog not yours, she knows it better than you and it's her decision how to proceed, what you may perceive as 'suffering' may be nothing more than the winding down of an old life. If you start interfering by calling Vets, RSPCA ( who know sod all about anything anyway) or anyone else you will lose her respect, friendship and trust. This is her calls not yours, sorry to be blunt, but it IS interfering.

[missprim]

I have been friends with my neighbour since I first moved here about 7 yrs ago. We have tea in each others homes quite often and have lengthy chats on the phone, but as her dementia has worsened recently I have found it very difficult to have conversations with her as she asks the same question several times over and I do get upset when I see the deterioration in her.
There's no problem as far as money is concerned as I believe she is quite wealthy she has someone come to the house once a month to shampoo the dogs etc and although she used to take them out for walks several times a day she is unable to do that now.