Have A Laugh
I despise bears so imagine my horror when out camping in the wilds, I ran into one.
Knowing it was me or him; I didn't give him time to think and blasted him three times in the head with my hunting rifle.
Even though I had escaped this time, my ordeal got a whole lot worse.
Mrs.Grylls reported me to the Police and I'm now facing a murder charge.
My parents tried to put me off becoming an archaeologist.
They said there was no future in it.
I just saw this idiot with bright red hair, going down the road on a unicycle whilst juggling. What a clown!
I got an email from a circus the other day but I couldn't open the attachment.
Apparently it had been created with a dopey acrobat.
I can't see an end.
I have no control and I don't think there's any escape - I don't even have a home anymore.
Definitely time for a new keyboard.
Dyslexia cost me my job in IT. Turns out my boss wanted me to unzip his 'files'.
It's the last time I play poker with an origami expert.
All he did was fold.
Someone broke into my house last night and left a note saying they'd broken one of my keyboard keys.
I onder hich one.
I'm having some problems with my new Staffordshire Bull Terrier - I rang the vet for some advice.
I explained he was brown, stupid, aggressive and liable to attack anyone for no good reason.
The vet replied, "Muzzle 'im?"
"No," I said, "I think he's an atheist."
If your pet iguana is sick, do you have a reptile dysfunction?