2. Okay Ralph ..... let me 'splain it to you again. You're big, I'm little: BUT!!!! - You're dog, I'm cat .... that makes me the boss! Got it?
3. With age, comes skills. It's called MultiTasking. I can laugh, cough, sneeze and Pee all at the same time.
4. Don't let ageing get you down. It's too hard to get back up.
5. I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
6. Press any key to start. Will someone please show me where the 'any' key is.
7. Diapers and Politicians should be changed often and for the same reason.
8. Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg.
9. Sometimes I pretend to be Normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being me.
10. A wish for you - May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day. And may their arms be too short to scratch.
11. An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine while sitting on the patio with her husband and she says 'I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you'. Her husband asks 'Is that you or the wine talking?'. She replies. 'It's me ....talking to the wine.'