wedding jitters

[aneese]

hi

im due to get married next year sometime and am having serious doubts

i care very much for my partner but since the birth of our first child i have suffering from depression and im not sure if my lack of commitment is due to this.

we havent had any kind of physical relationship for over a year now (since my son was born) as i have no desire to. I dont know if this is because i dont find him attractive anymore or if i have just lost the urge completely.

i am so confused! i dont want to hurt him and i also dont want the shame of ending the relationship - i feel like i will dissapoint everyone. we have a nice house and nice car etc and everyone thinks we are living the perfect life but i am so unhappy. i am scared of ending it incase its the wrong thing to do and i cant go back and sometimes i am so sure that i want to marry him i wonder why i had doubts in the first place

i feel upset and down a lot of the time and often try to attribute this to our relationship but i'm not sure if it's because i am depressed and looking for someone or something to blame

will things be better once my depression is under control or will my depression subside if i leave him - is he the problem?

i really need an outside perspective on this - please be as honest as you like

thank you