Grizzly Baby!

[Chasingcars]

Evening everyone,

My little girl is now just over 5 months and it seems whatever we do (mum and baby groups, sensory class, go to friends houses etc) she just grizzles all the time.
I always feed and change her before we go, and check for the obvious, is she too hot, cold etc but still she just doesnt seem content. I have toys for her so she isnt bored as well.
This morning was our 3rd attempt at sensorty class and she was fine for about 10 minutes and then just cried on and off for most of the lesson.
Last week at my mum and baby group she just wouldnt settle after and hour so ended up leaving in tears as didnt know what else to do (and thinking all the other mums think im a bad mum as cant stop her crying) :(
She is teething but surely that doesnt make her unhappy all of the time especially when at home she is quite relaxed most of the time?
Is it just some babies are grizzly babies without any real cause or am I missing something obvious?
Im swapping some of my classes to later ones in the day to see if that suits her nap pattern better and also swapping to smaller classes which may be less stimulating/ overwhelming for her.
Any other suggestions or anyone else been through similar?
Im getting to the point of not wanting to go out but want to avoid giving up as ive worked hard at making new friends and finding nice groups to go to...
Im seeing my health visitor tomorrow too to see if she has any ideas...
thanks x

[bednobs]

hi CC, i know just what you mean. We went to 10 baby sensory sessions and there was 1 where she didn't cry, and that was the last one. She cried at every mum and baby group, every playgroup and even when we go visiting friends and family. She is incredibly placid at home, and at nursery, but doesn't seem to like new things. Mind you, neither do i!

[mazie]

You're not a bad Mum... Please never think that. Some babies just need a lot more attention.... If you feel stressed because of this, the baby is going to pick up on it. Just relax and accept your Baby is just what she is and maybe needs a bit more attention than most.. Good luck and try and just accept it. xx

[Chasingcars]

hi bednobs, glad to see its not only me disrupting the baby sensory classes then ;) though it does feel like that at the moment, especially when all the other mums keeping asking 'is she ok'!!
Mazie - i do try and relax and now i have accepted she probably will kick off most of the time im kind of prepared for it though its sad as we miss out on lots of the fun stuff and ive tried hard to find nice groups to get out rather than just stay at home, which to be honest on a lot of days is more appealing. My baby sensory class leader is loaning me a book next week called the wonder weeks - has anyone read this?!

[anneasquith]

baby sensory classes ?

[FoxLee2]

I'm an old mum - my babies are aged 42 and 40 and I just don't get all this socialising stuff for babies. Your daughter has let you know where she's happiest so let her be. She's five months old for goodness sake, why does she need all these groups? You think she's missing out on fun or is it you who is missing going out and seeing people. You've made good friends so invite them to your home with their babies and let your baby socialise in the place where she is happiest. When she is older and toddling is time enough to go to soft play, nursery groups etc.

[FredPuli43]

I'm an old dad and agree with Fox Lee. Why are you bothering with mother and baby groups etc if your baby is upset in them ? At 5 months, she's got plenty of time to learn to socialise . And what joy do you get out of them , when the baby is grizzling ? Certainly you need friends and support; otherwise being a mum is on a par with light- house keeper for loneliness; but can't you get that by the way FoxLee suggests?

[ummmm]

I agree with FoxLee2, too...

She clearly doesn't enjoy socialising.

[Sharingan]

My twin younger sisters you would think would be quite alike in their habits, except that one of them was quiet as a lamb and the other cried and grizzled nearly 24 hours a day for about 4 months. There wasn't anything the matter with her, she was just a ghastly grizzle pot. I'm sure you aren't a bad Mum, I know my Mum isn't, sometimes they just cry a lot.xx

[Sqad]

\\\ My baby sensory class leader is loaning me a book next week called the wonder weeks - has anyone read this?! \\

Tell me this is a "set up."

Baby Sensory Classes?..."Wonder weeks?"

I feel ashamed that my kids were deprived of these.......

If he "grizzles" then don't take him........if he "grizzles at home....stick him in another room.

[ummmm]

Sqad, having a young baby can mean isolation for the mother. Some people are happy with that, some aren't.

[FredPuli43]

"He", in the instant case, is a "she" sqad. Or were you talking in general terms, all babies being he rather than they ?

[bednobs]

ach, take no notice cc, personally i thought baby sensory classes were great even if p didn't :)
i'm afraid people, that the time when mum saT AT home with the children and did housework, and cooked the man's tea for when he came in from work are long gone
and sqad, your babies maybe weren't deprived of them - how would you know? from what i can gather from what you write, bringing up babies was what Mrs sqad was for - i doubt you even know what groups they went to or books she read.

[magsmay]

I agree with FoxLee totally - you can be tempted to bombard babies with too much too soon in an effort to get out and socialise as a mum. Your baby is showing signs of anxiety in this environment so don't insist on it -its supposed to be fun for the baby -she is obviously not having fun - no baby cries when its happy! Two suggestions -the first -invite some of your new friends around to your home and have a baby morning -this will get baby used to socialising in an familiar environment -secondly -find a baby sitter and go for a girls only lunch or night out -without babies -you will feel less stressed and everyone will be happy!

[anneasquith]

sensory classes, what are they exactly ?

[ummmm]

Does a baby really need to socialise at 5 months old?

The 'social' bit is for the mother.

[society]

At 5 months old how much else can a baby do besides eat, sleep, poop and cry. I too agree with Foxlee.

[ummmm]

Anne - think about it. Sensory!!

[bednobs]

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=baby+sensory

[anneasquith]

thanks bed, hope your wee one is well.

[Chasingcars]

Thanks everyone for your comments, its always good to see different peoples points of views on a situation.
To clarify, I only take my little girl to baby sensory on a monday and swimming on wednesday (she actually likes this and is always very calm and smiley!) Apart from that I take her for walks on my own to the park, to town etc.
Those 2 activites aside we do, as a few of you suggest I do meet with other mums at our houses, we usually take it turns to host and each friday we go to one of the houses and babies can just sleep in prams or play on mat if they are awake. However even in these small groups of friends at our house or others, she is still grizzly and not settle.
I live in a small village and having a winter baby when we had quite awful weather these couple of groups gave us an opportuntiy to get out and also meet other mums for support ( i am a first time mum). I felt it would be very easy in the winter months, especially after a bad night to just stay in all day which isnt good for me or little one.
I also felt it would be good for her to be around other babies in preparation later on if/ when she goes to nursery.
To put it in context ive not signed her up to piano lessons or anything, baby sensory is just a group for singing and playing, lots of things you can do at home really but getting out to groups also gives you quality time as often at home i can get deistracted by the many chores to be done!
I wouldnt say that i have continued going to the classes knowing she was unhappy its only really recently i have noticed a pattern. Previously i could link the grizzlyness to jabs/ colds/ teething etc but currently she is well so it seems a bit out of character.
As it happens I am quite an independent person and like my own company so dont actually mind being at home on my own with just me and little one but as I say being a new mum some of this is not about socialising its just for support and help sometimes, and also reassurance at times like these.
Even at home, with just me or few family members she is unsettled very quickly despite being in familiar, quiet surroundings.
A friend of mine has suggested that often with very quick births, as my little girl was (20 min labour) this can often result in neck/ back/ shoulder pain issues so has been suggested we see a cranial osteopath for some advice.
I am willing to listen and try anything if it helps as if she is in pain I want to put it right, not ignore it and as I say i dont think her grizzly all the time is right.
I hope the above clarifies some of the points raised and any further advise welcome x