http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-23753634
I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
I'm in a same-sex marriage... the sex is always the same.
My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him 'Don't be Sicily'.
I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.
The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men.
You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.
The universe implodes. No matter.
I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance.
The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately.