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Frightened cat
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I think the best thing for you to do is to ignore him completely. I remember reading that cats consider you looking at them to be an aggressive gesture but, when your head is turned away, it is considered friendly (think how a friendly cat rubs the side of its head against you). Hence, why cat-lovers are usually snubbed in favour of the poor soul allergic to the things!
Cats are also well-known sulkers so I wouldn't give it too much thought. Perhaps you could feed the cat when you are round (the main feed, not treats) so he associates you with getting his dinner!
I'll give it a try. I put his food in his bowl last night and when he saw me he still ran out, but I left the bowl by the back door and he ate it on his own terms later. Was that the right thing to do?
Ignoring him last night did seem to work a bit better, he didn't jump on me or play with me but he at least managed to be in the same room. I think not looking at him is a good idea too. Thanks!
We were planning to get him a kitten as a playmate but that probably wouldn't be a good idea now?
I think it takes time to build up the trust again so it might be worth persevering with the feeding thing. Hopefully you will find that after a few days or a week he comes looking for you when he's hungry! I wouldn't recommend a new kitten if the existing cat is feeling insecure. I had this situation and the older cat just decide to ****** off and find a new home elsewhere. I've now got two cats which tolerate one another but aren't really playmates. If you want another cat then go ahead but your GF's cat is probably perfectly happy on its own.
For the record, I've the opposite problem to you. My cat is affectionate during the week but when my boyfriend visits at the weekend I don't get a look in! Cats are a charmingly fickle species so don't worry about it!
Definately hanging fire with the new kitten - I think it was my girlfriend getting overexcited at having a pet "together" but given how Sparky has reacted to me she's seen sense. I still don't understand why he's turned on me. Maybe I was too rough with him. We did have an argument in the house last week - maybe that scared him?
If I ignore him, is it ok to pet him if and when he does come near. Can't believe how much this is stressing me out!
What do you do when your cat gives your boyfriend affection and not you?
When I'm ignored, I;m usually pleased as it means i can go out without have ginger cat fur all over my clothes:)! It's turned into a bit of a joke really and, as he works away, it's not really an issue. Incidentally, my cat's called sparky too!
Anyway, let him come to you, don't try to pick him up or touch him, eventually he'll come and explore. Don't stress! As I said before, cats are pretty fickle and will always have favourites. Keep feeding him and he should come to associate you with dinner and come and schmooze you when he's hungry.
Cats are very intelligent and strange animals! He could well be jealous of you since you are another male on "his" territory. But if he seems scared I don't think thats the case...
I had a lovely cat once, he was very loving to everyone and allowed anybody to pet and play with him. When I was on holiday a male neighbour came in to feed him and when he opened the door my cat made a dash for it but my neighbour grabbed his tail to stop him from getting out.
He ended up with a dislocated tail and from that day on never trusted another male. He can only be around females as he has lost total trust for any men, I only know of one man that has managed to get past this with him.
Is it possible that maybe when your cat has been out hes been treated cruely by another man? I think the best thing to do is to ignore him to a certain extent and if you do go to stroke him curl your fist into a ball and extend it to him but make sure it is lower than his head (this is a sign of friendliness, basically meaning im not going to fight you) allow him to sniff your hand and when hes comfortable with that reach a bit further to stroke him.
I hope everything works out! Good Luck!
One of my girlfriend's exes did kick Sparky about a year-and-a-half ago. I think he liked to chase Sparky around as well so maybe it's to do with that. Maybe he sees me as the same as him, although he was really friendly at first. We used to play games and everything and he was so affectionate.
I'll keep on with the ignoring! Thanks for all your help - I'll keep you posted.