There once was a mole

[Trillipse]

that tried its best to destroy the middle-class lawn i've spent the last few months trying to perfect.

Today i defeated it in hand to hand combat without recourse to modern methods of mole murder.

while i feel some remorse, i did what i did for the sake of my sanity.

BUT...

does anyone know if these fearsome beasts usually live in colonies, families, groups, packs, or whatever? Should i expect to have to carry out multiple molicide before i can sleep easily in the knowledge my putting green lawn will grow serenely without further incursion in the near future?

And should i have put this question in the Home & Garden section?

[morg_monster]

My aunt 'euthanised' a mole after problems for years... I think she only did it once, but that may be due to the numerous fluffy moles and mole-related childrens books she received from her relatives for christmases and birthdays, rather than the fact that it did stop the moles.  Maybe you should put Moley somewhere the others will see him and be scared away...

[FP]

Or perhaps you should forget about perfect middle-class lawns and turn your garden over to nature.  That's my excuse for my untidy garden!! 

We have loads of moles as we live in a very fertile valley out in the country.  We long ago gave up the battle.  They come and go.  All that happened, when we did all the normal things people do to get rid of them, was that they moved next door.  My neighbours got rid of them and they all moved back to us - and so it continued.

I honestly think though that it won't be a solitary mole and his angry wife and 100 children will be out looking for him very shortly!

I think you should try the Home and Garden section as we tend to be a bunch of wildlife fanatics on here and you might be mobbed.

[burnhal]

Well said, FP!!

[shaneystar]

Poor mole:(

[Cetti]

We will commit Trillipcide if you even think of killing one. Unlike moles we hunt in packs so watch your back!

If you had ever picked up a little 'velvet gentleman' and felt its little heart beating so fast from terror you think it would burst - then your beautiful lawn would mean absolutely nothing.

What is happening is they are using routes that have been used for generations - passed down from mother to daughter and father to son. They were there long before the houses - so in effect they have the right of way.

[Tim Baxter]

And on the sensible side.....Moles seldom live gregariously.  The individual mole from an expanding population, will wander wherever it likes looking for a fresh suppy of water, worms etc.  It doesn't care that its spoil hills will get caught up in silage and cause listeria infections in cattle that produce the milk we drink, or cattle and horses put their hooves down the little creatures' tunnels and break their legs....

On domestic lawns, why should the cannabalistic little ******** spoil our harmony or Wa with our nature.  Our tranquility which we've strived for demands a peaceful solution.  My mole man (100% sucessful) has eradicated my lone mole at one attempt using strictly legal, ethical, chemical means.

You may not realise it but very soon the moles which I referred to earlier will have to be controlled on farmland by trapping and trapping alone.  Can you imagine the suffering the poor, little ******** will undergo then?  Can you imagine the expense that it will take for a farmer to employ mole catchers to patrol his traps every 24 hours to keep the little ********out of the silage?  And if it gets more expensive for the farmer who will foot the bill....?

In the old days if there were a company of moles, poisened bait would be laid, the first mole would eat and die, the second mole would eat the first and die, the third mole etc etc.  Perhaps it isn't pleasant to think about but then neither are many of the processes employed to keep us fed.

[Trillipse]

FP: i am the son of a dear departed farmer, and have been through the whole nature thing, i love the little *******. that's why i kill them (sic). now, i for once in my life am trying to make a beautiful lawn on god's own earth, and that's why i have to murder innocent creatures in cold blood.

i know the lambs i used to raise on the farm used to cause untold havoc by nipping the grass, and that's why we all slaughter and eat them. i have fried the moles.

cetti - your answer is a lovely one, and i await my deserved deserts. i know my lawn means nothing, but would rather not get into the philosophical side of it. i shed tears for the natural territory the moles have lost, the suburban culture i've bought into, the farming mentality i've inherited, and the lawn i've pretentiously tended in my time of from tending the mentally ill.

i am a wrong person.

HOWEVER

i love creatures, and have tended them all my life, but when rats came to kill my chickens, i killed them. when foxes came to kill my ducks, i killed them. when the ministry came to kill my pigs... i should've killed them.

i am a person.

and TIM BAXTER, thanks for the info - this may be anathema to many, but rather than use poison or traps or gas or a spade, i dug out the mole with my own hands, and dealt with it face to face.

something many urbanites have no conception of in today's pre-packaged society. . .

[FP]

I have to agree Trillipse that the way you dealt with your little friend was preferable to all other methods.

I just have a great aversion to perfectly manicured lawns,  I can't understand why anyone might want one.   I had a neighbour who lived for his lawn and mowed the bl**dy thing (all half acre) every other evening.  It ruined our tranquillity - long live moles!! ;o)

[Trillipse]

FP - as a farmer's son, i agree with you in principle, but it's extremely therapeutic to look out to a glowing green carpet when you get up to go to a 12 hour shift on a psychiatric ward, and tending it, though it has autistic and obsessive-compulsive overtones, is beautifully satisfying and calming. and gorgeous to walk on barefoot and frolic upon naked (the neighbours haven't yet complained...)

:-)

[FP]

lol!

[Dark Angel]

 

http://www.lyric.co.uk/images/eventImage/Mole.jpg

[FP]

Oh bless him, Dark Angel.  He looks so angry - obviously out to inform all his gang about Trillipse and plan an attack.

[Cetti]

I'm still a little worried the effect of seeing a naked Trillipse  will have on a junior Mole's emotional development - probably scarred for life.

Thankfully their eyesight is not too hot!

[Brinjal]

I have mole rats in my garden.   I dont really mind them but termites seem to follow close behind and a cant stand them as they are really destructive then black ants follow the termites.