ChatterBank1 min ago
How Long?
Hymie is an elderly yarn merchant who has the misfortune of living next door to Fred, a well known anti-Semitic.
One day Fred calls on Hymie and says, "Hey Jew! I need a piece of gold silk."
"OK," says Hymie, "how long?"
Fred looks at Hymie and replies, "The length must be from the tip of your nose to the tip of your pen!s."
"OK," says Hymie, "and when do you want it?"
"I want it delivered to me here tomorrow latest," replies Fred.
Hymie says, "OK, you'll have it."
Fred is awakened early next morning by loud noises. He looks out his window and sees a row of lorries lined up outside his house, dumping lorry full after lorry full of gold silk into his front garden.
Soon, the front of Fred’s house is 3 foot deep in gold silk. Then there is a knock on his door and when he opens it, there is Hymie with an invoice for £8,000.
Fred starts screaming at Hymie. "What’s this, Jew? This is not what I asked for. I told you I wanted a piece of silk from the end of your nose to the tip of your pen!s. Look at my front garden. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Hymie replies, "I'm very careful when I deal with people like you, that's why I’ve got a few witnesses here with me now.
I may be off by a few miles so I gave you a discount, but...the tip of my pen!s was left in Poland after my circumcision!"
One day Fred calls on Hymie and says, "Hey Jew! I need a piece of gold silk."
"OK," says Hymie, "how long?"
Fred looks at Hymie and replies, "The length must be from the tip of your nose to the tip of your pen!s."
"OK," says Hymie, "and when do you want it?"
"I want it delivered to me here tomorrow latest," replies Fred.
Hymie says, "OK, you'll have it."
Fred is awakened early next morning by loud noises. He looks out his window and sees a row of lorries lined up outside his house, dumping lorry full after lorry full of gold silk into his front garden.
Soon, the front of Fred’s house is 3 foot deep in gold silk. Then there is a knock on his door and when he opens it, there is Hymie with an invoice for £8,000.
Fred starts screaming at Hymie. "What’s this, Jew? This is not what I asked for. I told you I wanted a piece of silk from the end of your nose to the tip of your pen!s. Look at my front garden. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Hymie replies, "I'm very careful when I deal with people like you, that's why I’ve got a few witnesses here with me now.
I may be off by a few miles so I gave you a discount, but...the tip of my pen!s was left in Poland after my circumcision!"
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