Just A Short Lesson In Speaking Yorkshire...........

[askyourgran]

Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet..
'Aye up lad' he said to the vet 'I need to talk to thee ab'at mi cat'
Vet: 'Is it a tom?'
Yorkshireman: 'Nay I've bought it wi me'

A bloke from Barnsley is suffering from piles and goes to the chemist. "Nah then" he said "Dost tha sell a*se cream? "Aye" said the chemist "Dost tha want a Magnum or Cornetto?"

My brother booked a table for mothers day for him and his wife. It will all end in tears she's crap at snooker.

A Yorkshiremans dog dies and he is devastated he loved the dog and decided to have a gold statue made. He goes to a jeweller with a photo ot it "Can you make me a gold statue of yon dog? "Yes" said the jeweller "do you want it 18carat?" "Nay" say the Yorkshireman "I'd rather have it chewing a bone".

My mate has a new puppy mostly black and brown and just a small patch of white. He's called him Bradford.

[berniecuddles]

lol 2nd one's a belter

[tonyav]

Love No 3.

[Blackiequine]

Agree with BC, but they all raised a titter.

[DTCwordfan]

two and four for me.

We ignored the name Bradford or Bolton for the puppy that's black and brown with a hint of renegade white in it. We just called it 'Stan'

[Graham-W]

A Yorkshireman went to the stonemason for a headstone making for his wife's grave. He told the mason what he wanted as the wording but when he came to collect it, Instead of, "Lord, she was thine" the mason had carved, "Lord, she was thin".
The yorkshireman complained, "But you have missed out the "e"". The mason promised to put it right.
When the Yorkshireman came to collect it again it said, "Ee, Lord, she was thin."

[bookbinder]

Nay, nay, we dusn't speyk lahk that i' Bratford! Tha's got it all reng!

[askyourgran]

Mebbe you're right bookbinder, but there's loads a different ways of saying stuff in Yorkshire, Morley is different again. Besides most of it's YorkiUrdu in Bradford nowadays.